First going on the world race was a sacrifice by leaving my comforts; family, job etc. But now, as time is coming to an end, I feel I have to sacrifice a lot to get off the race. I have an amazing community 24/7, made lifetime friendships, have worshiped God in different languages in different countries, explored new cultures, new foods and new places all the time.
And I know there’s always a beginning and end to seasons. It’s hard for me to end this chapter of my life in a couple of weeks! Though this year was one of the hardest, it was one THEE BEST years of my life! Sure I had bucket showers, sometimes no running water or electricity, rice & beans for weeks, spiders & rats, bed bugs & scabies, sleepless nights in Asia because it was so hot…but in those hard moments is where my character grew. In those moments were when I realized I haven’t thanked God enough. In those moments I grew in humility & patience.
After leaving Africa , I told my team I’d never go back there. Looking back today, I would go back in a heart beat. Hopefully doing medical missions someday!
So that being said I have mixed feelings going back home. Most of my squad are just simply ready to get home. Back to their Chick Fil A, to driving cars, go where you want to go, introverts are ready to hibernate from people, extroverts ready to chat everyone’s ear off! Yes I miss those things too, my loved ones more than anything, but that’s not what I’m mostly having mixed feelings about. It’s coming back to consumerism. Back to first world problems. I’ve lived from a backpack, slept on the floors and did it as if it’s normal. I loved the simplicity I lived these last 11 months.
Going home might be harder than I thought, I would need time to grieve and process it. I don’t want to come home telling all that I’ve learned and saw and be prideful about it (I would want to be called out on that if I ever do). It’s not fair to those back home who haven’t experienced what I have. Yes it might bother me if someone complains about the little things & first world problems. It might be hard to relate to those back home, but I ask for grace. I do have my squad that I can talk to when things do get hard. So I ask for grace and forgiveness in advance.
I’m more than excited though about coming home and telling stories of what the Lord has taught me, how creative & diverse He is, the embarrassment, the hard stuff. I’m excited to laugh and cry with everyone.
I’m trusting Him to help me enter a new season of my life!
Though the World Race is one of the highlights of my life, it doesn’t stop there. All that I’ve gained these 11 months has helped me draw closer to the Father. It has showed me more of His heart for this broken world! I don’t want to stop what I’m doing here on the race once I get back home. I’m not His ambassador only when with a missions organizations or overseas. I’m an ambassador everywhere and with anyone.
I can’t wait Portland to see you again! It’s been awhile 🙂
