The session yesterday on pain in our lives, the grief that comes with trials, betrayals, failures, and disappointments, was particular amazing. God touched our group, revealing all of the hurts in our life and opening us to share and pray with each other. During that time, I felt God put a poem on my heart. I picked up my pen and started writing, only stopping for one moment to make one word adjustment. This poem was inspired in part by our conversation about how unaddressed childhood pain and grief leads to numbness and addictions. During our discussion God put on my heart the pain in my own childhood. When I was young I frequently was sick or had joint injuries. It was so hard to watch the other kids run around knowing I couldn’t join them. This deep set sorrow and pain of a child came to mind, and God helped show me it through the following poem.
It’s amazing how fast pain builds in our soul
Hides in our hearts, poisons our goals
It pushes us on, drags us back
Kills us slowly, fills us with lack
Burdens us down til it’s hard to breathe
Binds us in chains til we can not leave
Paralyzed in fear, stuck in pain
Wanting to run, hid from the rain
Putting on a smile, putting on a show
Making us strive to be perfect so no one will know
Dampening our joy, stealing our fun
Dimming our smiles, always a walk never a run
How I long to be free from the burdens of pain
Dance in the sunshine, laugh in the rain
Sing with abandonment, climb a tree
Admit all to God, a vulnerability of me
Teach me, oh Lord, to see my pain
Not just what I feel, but all that I gain
Rip open my heart, the wounds of the past
Drain all the sorrow, at long last
Let me cry for the sorrow of a childhood lost
Thaw a heart that’s given up and over to the frost
Burn away the apathy and acceptance in my life
Cut out the addictions and numbness with a knife
Help me learn to smile and rejoice again
Brighten and rekindle my light from within
Let me shine with Your glory though I never may run
Let me show the world Your crazy heavenly fun
Let me giggle with laughter, sob with sorrow
Let me praise You tonight and dance tomorrow
Thank you for each breath You have given me
And let my actions show others I am free
God brings healing to the deepest and darkest griefs in our life. They can be as blatant as physical abuse but are often as quick and quiet as the betrayal by a loved one or disappointing a parent. I pray for all that read this blog that God brings to mind such past sorrows and hurts and helps all of you walk through healing with Him.
