Sometimes I feel like God confuses me to force me to learn how to trust Him more. Lately I have been feeling the WHY GOD of life because I felt like I was listening to His calling/direction in my life but now that it has come to a halt so soon it has made me wonder…. Was that really God? Should I have been listening sooner to His path change? I feel like I was forced to change paths but in the end it was God all along working but I was being stubborn..
So how do I start walking toward another large Christian organization so willingly and quickly (in light of my other experience)???? That is the question. My heart is very leery of all of this. Am I acting too soon?? Should I wait a time longer?? Is this really YOU GOD?????
Thinking about World Missions my heart just burns. I remember back a couple months ago sitting at a church service that was all about missions. In the end the pastor did a call to the front for people who feel the Lord calling them to long-term missions. I wasn't going to go to the front because it wasn't my church (I was just visiting a friend). But somehow when the time came to come to the front, my heart started pounding and I just stood up. (Without over thinking it at all, which is uncharacteristic of me if you know me at all…)
But how God is this my calling when I feel like I have wrapped so many people's lives up in this and then been forced to pull the plug.
I am clinging to your promise in Isaiah 41:10 that says, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
So God, I need you to take the fear from my heart, and strengthen my spirit and when I don't feel like going on hold me up in your righteous right hand.
