Is the World Race really worth it?
Is it worth…
Missing out on being involved in your friends’ and family’s lives for a year -weddings, births, graduations, and everyday moments?
Waking up in pain from head to toe nearly every day?
Wearing a wardrobe of only 7 tops & bottoms for an entire year?
Having your crap called out by teammates you just met two months ago?
Loving on kids for 4 hours knowing you’ll never see them again and they’ll most likely forget you?
Wondering if you’re actually making a difference in their lives?
Investing your heart into a new host family and community every month, knowing you’ll have to leave them in less than 30 days?
Hurting with your church family as they go through a heartbreaking situation but not fully understanding it because you’re 3,000 miles away?
N e v e r having moments of silence or being able to be completely alone?
Feeling inadequate or less than human after the ministry director walks off in frustration because you don’t speak the same language and can’t understand what she’s asking?
80% of the time, my gut response is, “NO.”
And in all honesty, I’ve wrestled with the thought of going home A LOT these past two months.
The Race has not been what I expected it to be, (not that I had very clear expectations to begin with) but one thing I did expect was for God to reveal himself in tangible and personable ways to me this year. I’ve prayed countless times for God to reveal himself to me…
And it’s been nearly seven months of [perceived] silence.*
That has been very discouraging, especially when I felt more secure in Christ and confident in who He created me to be within my community back home.
But every time my gut feels like the Race isn’t worth it, I make the choice to stay.
Because I know better. I know that following God is always worth it.
I stay because I know God has a purpose in my being here. I may not be able to understand what that purpose is until I’ve walked though it and am looking back on this time. And that’s ok. He has had me walk through hard times before without knowing why or where I’d end up, and He’s proven himself faithful in those moments, so can trust that he will continue to be faithful.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” – Romans 8:28-29 ESV
*I said “perceived silence” earlier because God has been here all along, even if I haven’t seen him in the ways I thought I would. I’ve seen Him bring rain and food to a drought-stricken community. I’ve seen Him protect my squad mates through various sicknesses and accidents. I’ve seen Him in the laughter of children being free to play in safe spaces, despite the violence they face at home. I’ve seen Him in sweet moments with newly found and unexpected friendships. I’ve seen Him in people who are willing to have the hard conversations with me. And I’ve seen His grandeur on display in creation around the world.
