March 14, 2011
We are standing on the curb by the side of the road. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. We are supposed to be meeting Sumalee and Kanya for dinner. I am holding gifts I bought for them. In my mind I am reflecting on the last couple weeks.
Two weekends ago we took Sumalee to the movies. She had never been to the theater before. We told her she could pick the movie. She chose Tangled. While we were buying popcorn and sodas I just had to chuckle to myself. . . she puts on her “big girl clothes” at night. She plays the part. But in her heart she is still just a child. A child who delights in cartoons and Disney princesses like I did when I was her age.
This past weekend we allowed Kanya to choose what she wanted to do. She chose su-kon-ta. Apparently this is a gigantic buffet. Before we walked in, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. All I knew is that we were walking beside a structure that reminded me of the main showman’s barn at the Clark County Fair and I said, “What is that? A barn? A slaughter house?” and Kanya said, “No. Su-kon-ta!” . . . At that moment I thought “Crap.” haha.
We walked in and it was the most amazing site. Hundreds of tables and even more hundreds of Thai people. Incredibly large bins of raw meat, veggies, fruits, and already-made dishes. It puts The Golden Corral to shame. You pile your plates high with whatever you want and then take it back to your table. A grill is then placed on your table and you cook everything right there. We had a blast trying things I never thought I would ever put in my mouth. We laughed a lot!
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But now I am waiting. Tonight I will be getting on a bus to Bangkok. I don’t know when I will be able to see my friends again. They stood up our meeting earlier that day with the social worker of an organization that helps girls like them to get sponsors and receive an education. Were they standing us up again?! Eventually, finally, Sumalee came. She didn’t know where Kanya was.
We walked to our favorite street vendor for dinner. We all ordered and sat down. I was finished with my meal before Kanya arrived. I couldn’t stay for much longer. I had to catch my bus. A heaviness hung over us that night like a big black cloud. We asked about our meeting with the social worker. The girls said they didn’t want to meet with her. Then I tried to explain to the girls that it was my last night they seemed surprised. Kanya asked when I was coming back. I said I didn’t know. She then pursed her lips, rolled her eyes like a typical 13 year old and shrugged. Both girls were incredibly distant. Self-preservation? I don’t know. My heart sank. Not how I pictured our last meal together. Where were the laughs from the previous weeks?! and the joy?! I gave them my gifts and hugged them. They barely hugged back. I told them I loved them. Kanya half smiled. I had to go. It was painfully awkward and difficult to walk away from them.
I walked back to my bike with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes.
God why is this so difficult?! Did the girls see your love at all? Their customers take them out to dinners and buy them gifts. Did they see the genuineness of our love? God, my heart breaks for them! This is not your will for their life, to sell themselves to these creepy old pedophiles!
These girls are not going to ever meet with the social worker are they, Lord? They aren’t going to leave are they? A whole month behind me and they are still in the same nightmare I found them in! Did I not love them well enough? Did I not give them an accurate picture of you and the hope that can be theirs?
Just then God brought SreyPhia’s face to my mind.
Here is one 13 year old that will never have to sell herself because of your love for her. You have done everything I have asked you to do this month. Do not blame yourself. Cling to this truth. I have given you one 13 year old of whose future you can be certain because of your love in Me for her.
This is a fight worth fighting. But it is so so so hard. Some girls are in the sex industry because they feel they have no other options. Some girls are in the trade because they are owned and someone is forcing them to sell themselves. And still some are in the trade because they are scared, and even when offered the door to a way out, are paralyzed with fear to walk through it.
So to be successful in this fight. You take what God gives you and steward it well and then when your season in a place or with a person is over. You trust that He still has the situation in His hands and you cling to the promises He’s already given.
I do not believe God is giving up on Sumalee and Kanya just because we left Chiang Mai. I know through our conversations with them that He has been chasing them for a long time! Pray that the seeds planted during our time in Chiang Mai will continue to be watered and will one day bloom into the blossom of a beautiful new hope and a future.
