I have been reading the book The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning. This book along with
my current reading of the Bible and a handful of sermons I have recently heard
are the inspiration for my first BLOG SERIES of the World Race. God has been
shattering my pre-conceived notions about his love and what a missionary is. He
is re-teaching me. My heart beat for the things of God is changing as my
experience with God this year transforms me and renews my mind. As a result I
want to share with you what God is teaching me. Thus starts The God Revelations.
None of the revelations in this series are incredibly earth
shattering at first glance. The impact and weight comes when you move beyond
the surface and truly internalize each revelation in the deepest part of your
heart. That is when before your eyes your ideas of Christianity, faith, church,
and God, as you know them, are shattered and rebuilt into something different;
something capable of actually giving you new
life.
I will start this blog the way Brennan Manning starts his
book.
I’m Kristen. I’m a nurse.
How I got there, why I left there, why I went back, is the
story of my life.
But it is not the whole story.
I’m Kristen. I consume alcohol.
How I got there, why I left there, why I went back, is the
story of my life.
But it is not the whole story.
I’m Kristen. I played the whore, but am no longer play the whore.
I was
an angry, broken woman but am no longer an angry, broken woman.
How I got to those places, why I left those places, is the
story of my life too.
But it is not the whole story.
I’m Kristen. I’m a sinner, saved by grace.
That is the larger and more important story.
Only God, in His fury, knows the whole of it.
God Revelation No. 1:
God’s primary objective is not to be worshiped nor obeyed, but His
primary objective is to be loved in return.
It was Anthony Chapman of Rock
Church in York, England http://rockchurch.org.uk from
whose mouth, I first heard this. Through much prayer, drawing near to God in
scripture and basically through just drawing near to God period, that I have
found this to be true.
Think about it. God had all the angels and heavenly beings who
were specifically created to worship and obey Him. Ezekiel, Isaiah, Revelation
all describe scenes where angelic cherubs are around the throne of God day and
night, singing “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. Who was and is and
is to come.” God has been worshiped and obeyed since before he created time and
planet earth.
So why create mankind? What did God want from mankind that
he did not receive from all the angels and heavenly beings? I would say the
answer to that question is LOVE.
1 John 4:8 states: God is Love. So what is the primary goal
and objective of love? As Anthony Chapman states, “The primary goal and
objective of love is simply to be loved in return.”
Jesus himself says: “I have given them the glory you gave to
me, that they may be one as we are one. With me in them and you in me, may they
be so perfected in unity that the world will recognize that it was you who sent
me and that you have loved them as you have loved me.“
Let’s just settle on
the enormity of that statement for a moment.
God’s love for us is equal to his love
for Jesus!
The words of Brennan Manning: “Love by its nature seeks
union.”
The implications this has had on my life:
Describing
the change that has happened on the inside as a result of this revelation is
almost indefinable except to say I have been transformed by the love of God. When
your stomach flits with butterflies, and you can’t stop thinking about a
person; when you can’t help but smile; when a mother first beholds the helpless
creature she brought into the world; how do you describe what goes on inside
you in those moments? You can’t . . . really. You just know that you would
rather not be anywhere else, with anyone else. You see things differently. Your
whole outlook on life changes. Your senses are more acutely aware of the other
person. This is how I feel about God; this is how our relationship has changed.
I have climbed steep Romanian hill sides just to escape and
be with God; to drink in his beauty and listen to his voice whisper through the
trees. I have wrapped my arms around a sweet Babushka lady and stared into her
eyes and seen Jesus staring back at me, then kiss my cheek. I have asked for
his Presence to be close and heard his voice through the mundane hum of
everyday life, lighting a spark under the most insignificant task and setting
it ablaze. He has flung stars across the sky in falling glory just to make me
smile. One night with so much grace and beauty, a sight I have never seen
before; I watched the moon literally rise over a steep hill top- all for my
enjoyment and because of his love.
As a result of this revelation, I have found myself
literally stopping all my religious activity just to soak in the presence of
God; a place where no word or deed is even necessary to communicate deep love
and affection.
Brennan Manning describes this well:
“Words such as union,
fusion, and symbiosis hint at the
ineffable oneness with Jesus that the apostle Paul experienced: ‘It is no
longer I who live, but Christ lives in me’ (Gal 2:20). No human word is even
remotely adequate to convey the mysterious and furious longing of Jesu for you
and me to live in His smile and hang on His words. But union comes close, very close; it is a word pregnant with a reality
that surpasses understanding, the only reality worth yearning for with love and
patience, the only reality efore which we should stay very quiet.
Cease striving and know that I am God.
Ps. 46:10
