6 month WR debrief.

January: New Zealand. 

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will
give her her vineyards and make the Valley
of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she
came out of the land
of Egypt. And in that
day, declares the Lord, you will call me, ‘My Husband’, and no longer will you
call me ‘My Baal’. For I will remove the names of the Baals
from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. . . . And I will
make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me forever. I will
betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in
mercy, I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.

Before I left for the World
Race, God told me that the first month in New Zealand was going to be our month together. This month was not
going to be so much about ministry, but rather, Him ministering to my heart.
God literally took me into the wilderness to woo me. I fell in love with him in
a whole new way. Most days it was all I could do to take in the beauty of
creation around me. God taught me how to praise him in the “rainbow moments”-
one day after a long and strenuous hike it down poured on us, we were soaked,
hungry, tired and frustrated that we hadn’t reached the campsite yet, but then
God put, not one, but two of the most beautiful and vibrant rainbows in the
sky. He silenced our grumbling and complaining. All we could do was stand in silent
awe. After that we looked for little blessings in every moment, in everything-
at times it blew me away how much he loved and blessed us. I felt God’s
continual presence. In NZ he taught me how to pray, sing and worship
continually. He also gave me a new love for his Word and spoke more clearly to
me through his word than ever before. Towards the end of our time in NZ, God
began teaching me about the person of the Holy Spirit, and his role in my life.

February: Australia. 

This verse and song were the
anthem of my heart during Australia.
I prayed it and sang it over the many people I came to know who did not know
the Lord. In Australia,
God showed me how to be intentional and listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
God taught me about faithfully praying for Dot’s healing and persevering in
prayer. God taught me what it looks like to intentionally listen to the voice
of the Holy Spirit in a Western society- I have been a Christian for many
years, but due to my church background, the Holy Spirit was something that
lived tucked away in the depths of my heart ensuring my entrance into Heaven
while I was responsible for my daily actions, words and behavior. In Australia, I
would say, I began to really allow the Holy Spirit to direct my every word and
action. His voice and direction became much clearer- God also spoke that he is
sending me to an un-reached people group. This caused me to grief journal a lot
about letting go of long-term missions in Nicaragua. Lastly, in Australia, Amy
and Keet confronted spirits of guilt, condemnation and shame that I had been
living under since an early age. They prayed for me and we broke the hold those
spirits have had on my life enabling me to walk in a new found freedom. Romans
8:1 took on a whole new meaning: There is
now therefore, NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

March: Philippines. 

If then you have been raised with
Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right
hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on
earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When
Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Colossians 3:1-4

From the very beginning of
the Philippines God began to speak: you
will not leave this race with 51 new best friends. You do not have to talk to
everyone. You do not have to try to please everyone. You must live to make me
smile and me alone. At the end of the day if you conducted yourself in a way
that makes me smile, it will go well with you. Up to this point, I was
distracted by what people thought of me, if people liked me, if people thought
I was attractive, etc. Our first worship night in the Philippines God reminded
me who I am. I AM: the light of the
world; a temple and dwelling place of the most high God and his Spirit and life
live in me; united with the Lord and of one spirit with him; chosen of God,
Holy and dearly loved; a holy partaker of a heavenly calling; an enemy of the
devil; and born of God and the enemy-the devil- cannot touch me! So God set
me free from worrying about the opinions of others and as an expression of that
I shaved my head. It is still the most liberating thing I have ever done.

Other than that God showed me
how to disciple and encourage fellow believers. He taught me about meeting
people where they are and encouraging them in their faith. I fell in love with
the boys at the CG and the people of Marikina.
They absolutely stole my heart. God also convicted me that it is not enough to
just do nice things for people and show them love- we must speak the name of
Jesus. Giving them bread when they are hungry is good, but if they are not
taught to eat of the Bread of Life, they are still dead, and what we have done
is in vain. He led me to fast and taught me about obedience to his voice-
through this he began breaking me of selfishness and pride. I dealt with a lot
of pride concerning desiring a position of leadership. Community was hard and
at the end of the month he changed my team and gave me a new community.

Update: 3 months into the Race:

                Even though I had experienced freedom from man’s
opinion, shame, guilt and condemnation, there were still more levels of freedom
to be obtained. I was still a slave of food and body image. I was still sad I
couldn’t fit into my jeans due to the weight I had gained. I was still a slave
of the mirror. God also convicted my heart concerning my old team. I had not
loved them the way I should have. My opinions were loud, strong, and voiced
often. God showed me that on my new team I was to love them by listening to them.

April: Cambodia. 

Look among the nations and watch- be
utterly astounded for I will work a work in your days that you would not
believe though it were told you. Habakkuk 1:5.

I trust the God in you. We asked
for the crazies. God breathed life into a part of me in Cambodia that I
did not realize was dormant. God brought four amazing women into our lives,
Pastor D, Carrye, Liney, and Michele. Pastor D prophesied over each of us, cut
to the core of some of our deepest struggles, and spoke life into us. One thing
Pastor D spoke to me is that I have a radical faith, but I have not allowed God
to be “radical” in my life because of opinions, comments, and previous hurts
from people close to me. The next day, God allowed me to be a part of raising
Liney from the dead and his power was demonstrated to me in a completely new
and radical way. More than that, God taught my whole team what it means to
trust the anointing of the Holy Spirit and the God which is in each of us. More
over, God began to teach me that while he still works in the miraculous, the
true miracle is the transforming work of his Holy Spirit in our lives to conform
us more to the image of Christ. He began teaching me what it means to
supernaturally love; supernaturally have patience; supernaturally have peace in
all of life’s moments. Lastly, God began speaking to me about areas in my life
where I have doubted him. He reminded me of the disciples- they walked daily
with him, they confessed him as Christ; yet something would happen to shake
their faith a little and they would be begging God for a miraculous sign to
prove himself once again in order to reinstate their faith- He was telling me,
“You have seen me raise the dead. I have
shown you my power. What room is left for doubt?!” But this was only the
beginning, I would have a few more tests come my way before this doubt was
completely uprooted and eradicated from my heart.

May: Thailand: 

I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory
I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. Behold, the former things
have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I
tell you of them.” Isaiah 43:8-9

God
speaks to me. This is TRUTH. This I know. This was an
incredibly spiritually heavy month and Satan attacked from all sides. His main
weapon against me was deceit. He came at me with lies like, “You are not loved.
Your teammates do not love you.” “God does not speak to you. Look at how God is
speaking to your teammates, but he doesn’t speak to you this way.” “These girls
in the bars do not want anything to do with you. You have nothing to offer
them. You are not good enough to reach these girls.” LIES! It was in fighting
this spiritual battle that my doubt in God was eradicated because the root of
the issue was DOUBT and it had been deeply rooted since 2004 when my
grandfather died. It wasn’t until God revealed it to me that I realized that
because of my grandfather’s death I was doubting God’s goodness and doubting
him in general. Once this lie died, God broke wide open my ministry in Thailand. He
gave me six specific girls to pour into and he blessed those relationships
immensely. He gave me the opportunity to share the gospel with all of them.
Lastly, He shattered my heart for victims of sexual slavery and gave me a
vision for the future to start a nursing school to educate victims of sex trafficking.