Date: 13/04/2010 Time: 2010
I am sitting on my bed. God has greatly blessed our team
here in Cambodia
because I am sitting on my bed in the air conditioning with a fan blowing above
my head. I have had over 24 hours now to process what happened yesterday. . .
The Lord woke me up this morning at 0640. He was incredibly
patient with me as I rolled over and fell back to sleep. He woke me up again at
0710. And once again he was patient as I muttered “not yet”. Finally, at 0740
he gave me a supernatural swift kick in the pants and I sat straight up in bed,
eyes wide. Sorry Lord. Good morning. Thank
you for being patient. I do want to talk to you this morning. After our
morning greeting, I put my ipod on, rolled out my sleeping pad on the floor and the Lord and I started our morning the way we normally do, working out. But I could barely
concentrate on the number of crunches I had left to do because my mind was
reeling.
Once again I am
standing at the top of the steps what do I see? Liney is on the ground. There is something oddly familiar about how she
looks right now . . . my grandfather; his skin, the same ashy gray color; his
lifeless eyes. I remember that day in the hospital room when he died. I run down the stairs. I am yelling her name and
slapping her cheek. Her head is lifeless in my hand. I have to support her neck.
Her eyes are slightly opened and rolled back. I am yelling her name, “Look at me, Liney. Look at me.” I
feel her wrist for a pulse. Nothing. We lay her down. I feel her neck for a
pulse. Nothing. I look at her chest. There is no rise and fall. I listen at her
mouth and nose. There is no sound indicating life or breath. I am nervous; no,
I am scared out of my mind! I am a nurse. I am supposed to know what to do . .
. no, you do know what to do Kristen, CPR. Start CPR. . . . No? Stop. Pray. Lay your hands
on her and pray. Seconds seem like minutes. I am praying from a place deep
within my heart with groanings too deep for words, my spirit is talking to His.
In the Name of Jesus, Live! . . .
It hit me about crunch No. 325, or somewhere in there: I posted a blog yesterday about a woman who
was pulseless, lifeless; a woman who quite literally dropped dead!! On whom I
and three other women laid our hands, prayed in the power and name of Jesus
Christ, and she started breathing again! Holy Crap! People at home will
probably think I am nuts! They are going to FLIP! My mind began turning over every scenario in my
head. Maybe she did just pass out. But
why wasn’t she breathing? Without initiating CPR what made her start breathing
again? How did her color turn gray so fast? Why didn’t her pupils react? Maybe
I just couldn’t find her pulse . . . no, I know what I felt or didn’t feel rather. Why
was her arm numb? Why couldn’t she feel it or move it? She wasn’t out long
enough for it to have fallen asleep. She didn’t land on it wrong. She didn’t
lay on it. You checked her over afterwards, Kristen. You know at first you could not find her pulse in that arm. You prayed, checked it again, 40 beats per minute. You prayed again, finally, 70 beats per minute and her feeling returned. She could squeeze your hand. There is no denying . . . Then I started laughing from my place on the floor; Holy Spirit giggles, we call them on the race, and I was at peace.
Have you ever encountered God’s sense of humor? Uncanny
things that he does and your only logical response is to laugh with him because
you know in Heaven he is sitting up there laughing also going, “Uh huh. . . . Ah
ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Now you’re starting to get it!” Let me let you in on God’s humor
in my life in the last 48 hours.
First. I picked myself up off the floor at that moment and
opened my journal. On Sunday I had opened a letter from the stack on my bedside
table. (Every Sunday I open a letter from an abundant stack that my friends from home compiled to
encourage me each week I am gone. They are GREAT sisters in Christ, no?!) The letter dated
April 11th was from my house church leader. I read it quickly before
the international church service on Sunday and paid little attention to the verse
written on the inside at the left-hand side. God was calling my attention back to it
this morning. It reads:
Look among the nations and watch-
be utterly astounded for I will
work a work in your days that you would not believe though it were told you.
Habakkuk 1:5
Haha! okay, Lord, you have my attention!
Second. The blog I was writing at the Blue Pumpkin yesterday
was in fact my blog about how God was deciding to redefine my “normal”. The
first paragraph was written and I had just typed the words, “Insert the
manifestations of the Holy Spirit here“. When I saw Michele at the counter. I
can just picture God laughing at me in that moment, “Ha. Kristen! Just you
wait. You want “normal” redefined? Welcome to your new life. How do you like
deese apples?!”
Third. Part of the prophecy that Pastor D spoke over me on
Sunday night was this:
Redemption. You have sold who you are. You have given it away and God
says he’s going to redeem who you are. You let the words of man mold you. God
is going to mold you! You need to pick up all of who you are. You have taken
off a piece here and a piece there. God says pick it up and put it back on. He
didn’t need you to take off or decide what needed to go or to stay. God is not
a God of waste. He will take off what is not of Him.
What have you laid down? Something has been laid down. Something is not
right.
Something is keeping you from the desire of your heart. I see a woman before me
that is passionate and driven by desire, driven to accomplish the desires of
her heart at all costs. You are ok with radical. But for some reason you have
talked yourself out of being radical . . . God made you different and that is
okay. You are about to get power. You do not have to apologize for who you are
or who the Holy Spirit is. The Holy Spirit is grieved by the fact that he wants
to be with you and there is a wall there. Forgiveness will
open up the floodgate and the Holy Spirit will have a place to land. By
releasing who has wounded you in the past, you have released yourself. Today you forgave
and released!
I don’t find it coincidental that I was able to offer
forgiveness for the woundings that have caused me to talk myself out of being
radical, and then the next day God puts me in the middle of something
completely radical. “Yup Kristen, there you are; the one I created you to be. I
knew you could handle it. Way to be radical!” I picked up a piece of myself on
Sunday night and was freed to put it back on. That brings God so much glory.
Fourth. How crazy that of all people he put me there when Liney died, the
nurse. Please do not misunderstand, if it were one of my teammates and not me,
the testimony would be just as valid, but God chose to put a nurse on the scene
to verify all that was going on physiologically with Liney! Crazy!
This blog is becoming too long already so I will close with this thought.
First, there is so much about this experience that I have
not put on either of these blogs. But more than anything
this is the most important lesson, so catch it!
The things I have
just told you are confirmations in my heart that bear witness to the
authenticity of my experience, but more than any of these, the thing that bears
the most witness is that I trust the God
that is inside Liney, Michele, Pastor D, and Carrye. I knew these women for about 24 hours, but I warred along side them for Liney because long before we ever met our spirits were connected and I trusted that connection in that moment. Trusting the God that is in them means that when Liney
recounts her experience of Heaven, I can trust it. When Carrye sees and
recognizes the Spirit of AntiChrist and Death on Liney, I can trust her discernment. When
Michele and Pastor D are prophesying or praying in the Spirit, I can trust their words and
intercession. Why?
Because first and foremost their actions and words align with Scripture.
And secondly, because what happened resonates with my spirit and their spirits bear witness with my spirit,
and my spirit testifies with His Spirit that I am
a Child of God.
This is the lesson I will I carry over into Fullness of One. I trust the God that is in my teammates! When
Lauren says that God has told her to do this radically ridiculous thing, then I have her
back in prayer because I trust the God in her. When Keet discerns a spirit in a
person or place, then I can trust it because I trust the God in her who speaks
to her. When Leisa leads us into a place or circumstance that I don’t understand, I can trust it is because God is leading her to do so and I can trust the God in her. When Casondra has a dream, wakes us up to pray at 4am and interprets the dream in our presence, then I have her back. I have all their backs and they have mine. Kristen didn’t raise anyone from the dead. GOD THROUGH our friends from the States and Fullness of One raised someone from the dead, whether all of Fullness of One was physically present or not. That is unity and community.
Until the church learns to trust the God that is within each member
there will never be true unity in the body of Christ.
God’s blessings, peace, and grace be to you, my readers in abundance!
