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I have a love, hate relationship with nursing.

“Then the Spirit lifted me up, and I heard behind me the voice of a great earthquake; ‘Blessed be the glory of the Lord from its place!’ It was the sound of the wings of the living creatures as they touched one another, and the sound of the wheels beside them, and the sound of a great earthquake. The Spirit lifted me up and took me away, and I went in bitterness in the heat of my spirit, the hand of the Lord being strong upon me.”
Ezekiel 3:12-14
 
I disected the first three chapters of Ezekiel this a.m. They are so FULL! There is so much I pulled from it, but God brought one illustration to the forefront which speaks to exactly where I am at this point in time. In the passage above the verse that most resonated in my heart was verse 14 or the last sentence.

Ezkiel was in the presence of almighty God, yet still “went in bitterness in the heat of my spirit“. What was he bitter about? Was he bitter that the Spirit was taking him away from the glory of the throne room of the Almighty? Or was he bitter at the assignment God had just given him? In previous verses we find out that God is commissioning Ezekiel to go to the house of Israel. He tells Ezekiel, “they will not listen to you”; “thorns and briers will be with you”; “you will sit upon scorpions”. . . Not a very up lifting assignment.

I have felt the exact same way about nursing. I know that to pursue something other than nursing would be walking in direct disobedience to the call God has placed on my life, but in many ways thorns and briers have accompanied me . . . I have sat on some scorpions too. I have been bitter in my spirit at God for calling me into nursing.

It was so interesting to me the next section of Ezkiel chapter 3 following his feelings of bitterness. It is the section about the watchman. Basically, Ezkiel goes away bitter, then sits by the side of the Chebar canal completely over whelmed by what he just experienced for 7 days, and then God speaks to him about the watchman. Basically God has appointed Ezekiel the watchman of Israel. The summary of the passage is this: if a wicked man is sinning- God tells Ezekiel to warn him- Ezekiel does- the wicked man does not change his ways- the wicked man dies- his blood is on his own hands. if a wicked man is sinning- God tells Ezekiel to warn him- Ezekiel does not- the wicked man dies- his blood is on Ezekiel’s hands. Same with the righteous man that falls into sin or commits injustice. (The Watchman: Ezekiel 3:21) 
I think these are the thorns God was talking about. . . at least it seems to be a burdensome task to me.

In my life God parallels this spiritual truth with the physical picture of nursing. I realize the bitterness in my spirit comes from a strong desire to NOT HAVE PEOPLE’S LIVES IN MY HANDS. I do not like, nor do I want the responsibility. It is a burden. It is heavy knowing your decisions could mean life or death; good or bad quality of life for a person.

But this is the reality, without nursing, people’s lives are still in my hands! I am a watchman, you (if you are a believer) are a watchman! People’s lives are in our hands because of the call God has placed on our lives as believers! The physical picture is this: if a person stops breathing or falls to the ground without a pulse, and I neglect them, or do not do all that is in my power to save them, their blood is on my hands. The spiritual reality is this: if a person is dying without Christ and I neglect them or do not do all that is in my power to tell them about Christ- their blood is on my hands. Now granted, ultimately it is up to God to save that person who has stopped breathing; it is up to God to decide if he/she lives or dies. And it is up to the Spirit of God to draw the sinner to Christ, but I have a job as the nurse, and as the watchman, to do all that I can do to make sure people’s lives and souls are cared for. Whether they listen or not; whether they take medical advice or keep making unhealthy choices; whether they harden their hearts to the words of God or turn and listen to his voice. I must still act. I must still tell.

There are thorns and briers and scorpions. But it is the call of God. And I believe the reason God started the book of Ezekiel by showing Ezekiel his glory is because when the thorns choke and the scorpions sting and the briers tear, remembering the Glory of the Lord makes it all worth while.