Worthy, You are worthy.

 

       I entered into the most beautiful time of worship this morning. I saw the Lord. Beautiful, glorious, satisfying, peaceful. He wrapped himself around me today. He met me in the inner sanctuary of my heart. But I had to lay every consuming worry, fear, thought, anxiety, emotion aside before He met me. I began by singing this song:

You’re callin’ me to lay aside the worries of my day;
to quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place
Worthy, You are worthy.

I open up my heart and let my spirit worship Yours.
I open up my mouth and let a song of priase come forth.
Worthy, You are worthy.

Of a childlike faith, and of my honest praise
And of my unashamed love
Of a holy life, and of my sacrifice
And of my unashamed love

Worthy, You are worthy
Worthy, You are worthy

 

 

       Last Sunday we studied temptation in house church. A study I am so thankful for! The entire time we were listening to the guy’s sermon on CD I was scribbling on my notes. March 9, 2006 was the day of my enslavement. The day I fell to the temptation of sexual immorality. I was able to take every bullet point that he made and closely examine this period of time in my life from  March 9, 2006 until March 22, 2008. It was so enlightening! This was the time of my “enslavement” and continual fall to temptation until my redemption on March 23, 2008. Hallelujah! But now, a different temptation is rising.

       Lately, el Diablo o Satanas (Spanish for: the Devil or Satan) has changed his tactics. The temptation of sexual immorality has lost its luster, I am guarding my purity with all vigilance and chasing holiness. Now Satanas is skillfully tripping me, so that I fall to the temptation of idolatry with my emotions, which is something ALL WOMEN struggle with. Tempting me to be jealous, selfish, self-centered, angry, bitter, hurt, competitive etc. within in the context of a relationship. He was pretty successful Sunday night with tripping me up, but I refuse to stay knocked down! Two precious sisters in Christ have committed themselves to pray and keep me accountable for my emotions!

       So this morning, after carrying the weight of these feelings for the last couple days, Jesus opened wide the eyes of my heart to fully understand the meaning of the words I was singing. Just as I do not want my future husband to carry with him the baggage of his past failures into our relationship, neither do I want to carry the baggage of those two years of enslavement to temptation and sin into a future relationship. AND HOW MUCH MORE IS THAT TRUE FOR MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST?! The truth is that period of time in my life is REDEEMED. I carry it no more. It has been tossed to the far reaches of the east and the west. It is nothing more than a story that has shaped my mind and heart to set me on the path of pursuing purity and holiness. 

       AND SO, NEITHER DO I WANT TO CARRY THE EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE OF THIS CURRENT STRUGGLE INTO MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST! When I asked for forgiveness and repented of all the above mentioned emotions, they became REDEEMED as well. Jesus took them and tossed them far away from me! I have victory over the temptation to make this relationship an idol and victory over these unChrist-like emotions!! SO I DO NOT NEED TO MAKE THESE THINGS THE FOCUS OF EVERY CONVERSATION I HAVE WITH MY JESUS! He’s already taken care of them! As the song says, He is calling me to lay aside the worries of my day and to quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place . . . a place where He and I can meet and all I have is to ENJOY him! He is calling me to leave my redeemed baggage behind. I carry it no more. He is calling me- quiet yourself. Your anxieties are gone. Set them aside. Remember them no more. Enjoy me. Just enjoy spending time with Me. I will satisfy you! Now my heart is open and my spirit free to worship His.

       The song goes on to say that Jesus is worthy of many things: a childlike faith– trusting, unassuming, innocent; honest praise– during times of plenty, and times of want; in the midst of joy or sadness and pain; a holy life: a life devoted to pursuing purity, and presenting my body as a living sacrifice- holy; my sacrifice: if the only man who ever pursues me is the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, then Hallelujah! What do I have to fret about? If He desires to set my life apart for his enjoyment alone; to keep me for Himself alone, then what do I have to be sad about? Earthly relationships will pass away, but He will remain!! Should I remain single that I may be free from the anxieties of the world and anxious for the things of God only- how to be holy in body and spirit- then what a small sacrifice to be called to give!! I will rejoice!! He is worthy!!

These last two months have been the Great Refiner’s fire because these lessons are so contra to my sin nature, but during these months God has opened my heart to women. Broken women who come from broken earthly relationships. I have visibly seen the hand of God move over my life these two months as a preparation for not only the World Race but also for my life on mission with God. He is creating in me the heart of a Shepherdess. One who will care for the hearts of his female flock through discipleship. That we may, together, possess the mind of Christ and be more conformed to his image.

Scriptural Journey for June and July:
Hebrews 2:8;  3:12-14;  4:14-16.
Ephesians 3:14-21;  4:31-32;  6:16

1 Corinthians 2:9-10;  3:16-17;  4:8;  7:32-35;  10:13

Romans 8:5-6; 26-27;  16:20

Luke 2:36-38
Jeremiah 17:7-10

Isaiah 61:1-3; 62:1-5

Proverbs 4:20-27

Psalm 19:14;  23;  37:3-7;  42:1-2; 5; 7-8;  55:18;  62:1-2; 5-8;  63;  103:14;  107:8-9;  145:13-19; 
Exodus 14:14