We were asked to write a blog about how we felt before leaving on this mission trip. Here is what I’m expecting…
As a deeply emotional person, I can see myself growing very quickly emotionally attached to each place, each people group, but same as the way a muscle becomes stronger and stronger through the building, stretching, and tearing process I EXPECT my faith in God to be built stronger and stronger by the building of relationships, stretching of my character, and then the process of tearing away from those people at the end of every month. The steadfast building of my faith balances my deeply felt emotions and as a result it is the truth of God that reigns over my emotions, and leads me to where God would have me to serve Him on the mission field long term.
I also expect:
to feel elated and alive.
to learn new, relevant ways of presenting the Gospel within in the context of culture
to come along side new believers and disciple them.
to feel broken and heavy in spirit.
that God will use this experience to teach myself and those following my blog and supporting more about himself. and that others would be compelled by the Holy Spirit to get involved in His ministry around the world!
to write stories and give a voice to the voiceless.
to continually, honestly examine myself and my motives and to be completely emptied of me.
to be ever learning about community, the body of Christ, and how it is supposed to function- probably more through trial and error, forgiveness and restoration than anything.
to be able to speak in the tongues of the people I am serving!!
to redefine “church”
to learn a deeper meaning of the words authentic and vulnerable.
to have selfish inclinations and feel emotionally spent.
to come home with less junk than I left with.
to wish I was back home. I know I will miss Bubbe’s cooking, Sundays with family and my Apex family.
the world as I know it to move forward without me in it and to feel disconnected when I return.
to bring home multiple journals littered with thoughts, poems, stories, collages and memories
to capture people in their most human moments using light and a lense . . . and to feebley attempt to capture the glory of God in the same way.
to be changed, simplified, for my paradigm to drastically shift and to consider rubbish all things in our American consumer culture which hinder the radical, dangerous wonderment of faith in Christ.
I will have to seek the humble forgiveness of my teammates more than once . . . or twice or a few times.
to receive a clearer vision of the New Jerusalem and comprehend a little more what worshipping God in the midst of every nation, tribe and tongue will feel, look, sound, smell, and taste like.
to witness miracles such as the blind receiving sight, the diseased healed, the demon-possessed released, even the dead raised to life.
to expressively worship the Lord in ways I had never dreamed of.
to redefine “home”
to be persecuted for my faith and to stand up under it unwavering
to hold nothing back from Jesus.
to walk away from the race with a new family of believers and life-long friends
to learn what it means to be content in all situations whether having plenty or in want, well fed or hungry, alone or in the company of believers
to be conversational with God throughout my preparation time and the world race and to distinctly hear his voice
that God will fulfill Malachi 3:10 in my life and that he will pour out a blessing to cover all costs of the trip above and beyond the $13,800.
to fall deeper and deeper in love with my bride groom, Jesus Christ.
