Ever love someone who just didn’t want to be loved?
It’s tough to do.
I once had this friend that refused to let me love them. This person would respond to my kindness with rudeness and each time I would try to check in on them they’d grumble something about being fine. I would pray for this person every day, strongly believing that if I kept praying, they’d one day come around.
They didn’t.
I kept up my friendly routine for months, but around month six, I was getting weary. It wasn’t that I was always in this person’s space and slapping ‘I love you’ stickers on them. I would smile when the person passed by and never be overbearing. I wasn’t annoying(at least I sincerely hope not…) and I certainly tried my best to love from afar.
It seemed that no matter what I tried, this person wouldn’t let me in and eventually, I just gave up. If they wanted to be a grumpy stick in the mud, then fine, they could be that way. I did my best. I fought the good fight. It was time to let this Eeyore go.
I stopped talking to this person. Stopped smiling. Stopped offering encouragement and stopped being myself. I offered sarcasm for sarcasm and before I knew it, I was grumbling through work and school.
It was at a moment of humbling that God showed me that I was doing exactly what my ‘friend’ was doing. In my frustration of this person’s attitude, I let go of who God asked me to be in order to pursue my own justification.
In a very gentle, God-way, the Holy Spirit reminded me of what love is. Love isn’t my best effort. Love isn’t my feelings or desires. Love is a choice.
First off, I needed to be reminded that God is LOVE. (1 John 4:8)
Then, I remembered the love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13. In this chapter it is said that love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn’t keep records of wrongs and love bears all things.
But see, that is really hard to do when someone is being a punk. When after all the offerings of goodness you lay in their hands, they still throw it on the ground and spit on it. I don’t want to love that kind of person. It hurts and annoys and takes up too much of my time.
However…
This love that I don’t want to be is exactly who Jesus is. He prayed for the soldiers who hung Him on the cross. He healed people who only wanted what He could give Him. He took in murderers, thieves, blasphemers…basically, He loved without limits.
Probably the most humbling thing of all is that He loved me. He chose to save me, Little Miss Self-Righteous, and call me His own. It was(and still is) His innocent blood that covers my sins and makes me blameless in His sight.
He didn’t have to love me like that. While I was still sinning, being rude and disobeying, He could have treated me the same way I treated my ‘friend’. He could have given up.
But God chose to love me. God still chooses to love me.
I’m so glad that He does. His love has nothing to do with what I do and everything to do with what He did.
So, like a humbled little sheep, I had to go back to loving on my friend. I had to forgive them for each offense and start again.
I’d like to say that my friend came around. I’d like to say that we’re now BFF’s…but we’re not. We’ve become slightly better acquainted and I think I might have advanced in the ranks to be considered their ‘friend’ now. However, this friend still shuts me out and will only on very special occasions let me see who they really are.
But, you know what, dear reader, loving someone is never about what they can do for you. Love is about being selfless. Love is about giving away that last donut(that you really wanted to eat) to someone whether they deserve it or not.
I am told in the Bible that love covers a multitude of sins. (Proverbs 10:12)
Love is a very interesting thing.
“Greater love has no man than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13
