these were my thoughts prior to applying for the world race: written Aug 1, 2012
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”- Jeremiah 29:11
My family has a time share in Hilton Head Island. My mom has been going since 1979 when her mom and dad bought it and we have been going ever since on the same week each year. With a time share you are stuck to that week so with that being said other people that have a time share in the same condo have become our friends. We met two families about 5 years ago and become friends with them! One of the families has a little girl who is now 9 years old. Well my dad picked up the girl as he used to pick up Caroline (my sister) and I. It is not where he is holding her, rather where she locked her elbows and my dad picked her up. My heart smiled as I watched this beautiful girl smile and laugh while my dad picked her up over his head. My hope is that my dad was gleaming on the inside remembering when he used to pick us up like that.
Later when we were in the condo I asked “Daddy pick me up” and he said I can’t, I am not that strong and you are too big for that now.
I am so glad that my Heavenly Father is strong enough to pick me up and will always carry me…no matter how BIG I get. Well I started thinking about how my God carries me through each season. Currently my heart and head are wondering. I am stuck in a cloud of all the possibilities in life and the future, RATHER THAN staying mindful and living in the present. I have no clue what I am going to when I graduate in December; how I am going to be financially independent from my parents; how long will I be living back at my parents’ house; if I will get married and if so to who and when; will I go on the world race which has been a desire of my for three years now, and if so how will I raise all the money needed; where will I work, retail or restaurant, or both, will I even be hired, will I be able to gain a community at the place or places I get hired at, what will the community be like, will I go to grad school for counseling or occupational therapy… the GRE, money for grad school, what grad school… and the thoughts just continue. My heart is having trouble resting but with the thought that my Heavenly Father carries me hit hard and I am beginning to find peace and FREELY live!
He arranges the stepping stones in such an intentional manner. Then He carries me when needed, yet he always guides me from stepping stone to stepping stone. I with my little and limited eyes only see concrete but underneath each stepping stone, however I image his plans for me written by His own hands in stone. I am beginning to trust and see that my feet are planted on solid ground. This ground and foundation has been set for me with thought, care, tenderness, love and grace. O my heart rejoices in this thought, that even in my wandering he is guiding me and directing each step, aligning each step to his perfect plan and will for my life…even if it means that he has to pick me up and carry me. Yet my thoughts started to wander again, wondering if my I can mess up his plan… and I am sure there are different opinions on this by God put it on my heart that he who began a good work will carry it to completion (Phil 1:6) so regardless what job I receive, whether or not I went to grad school he is STILL working and I CANNOT mess his plan up because he is far GREATER and more POWERFUL than me!!
God thank you for laying a solid foundation for me, for engraving the plans you have for me on your palm. Lord I surrender all to you, all my anxious thoughts; I surrender my past and all those who were in it, the now and the future to your hands, this life is all for you, for your honor and glory. With each step I take I choose to trust in you and your direction for the life you have called me to. May your unfailing love and faithfulness protect me and guide me all the days of my life. In Jesus name.
