For months now, I have been praying for God to break my heart for the things that break his…
Sometimes I feel like that is such a generalization…what does it even really mean for your heart to break? Sometimes I just feel numb, sitting watching God’s people, but feel absolutely nothing. I hate feeling that way. I want to feel the pain that they feel, cry when they cry, and laugh when they laugh. Well I’ve been praying for those things, and God gave me a glimpse of what it feels like when you truly let the walls down that surround your heart and allow him to break it for his people.
As I mentioned in my last blog, many of the children that come to the Care Points do not have one or both of their parents and live with relatives or even grandmothers that are not their own but have adopted them into their homes. Many times there will be as many as ten to fifteen children living with one grandmother. The Care Point is a place where they can be fed and receive any other needs they may have. AIM partners with an organization called, Children’s Hope Chest that connects children with sponsors. In the past few weeks we assisted AIM’s discipleship team in profiling the children. The children have their pictures taken, answer some questions and color a picture for their sponsor.
One morning we arrived early to the Care Point, so we decided to head over to the playground and play with the children before starting the profiles. This one little girl came over to me and sat down in my lap. We swung on a swing for a few minutes, but when I realized she was falling asleep, I took her over to the shade underneath the playground. Within five minutes, she was sound asleep in my lap. I sat there with her, stroked her hair and covered her infected ears from the flies trying to crawl inside them. As I stared at her, my heart began to beat faster and tears began to well up in my eyes. All this child needed was a gentle touch and someone to embrace her. Every child deserves that. Then, the realization hit that so many children in the world don’t have someone to love them and hold them; they don’t have someone to tell them not to worry and comfort them when they cry. This little girl slept in my arms for over an hour. When she finally woke up she looked at me with her big black eyes, smiled and put her hand on my heart. At that moment I knew my heart was broken for God’s children, and that I would never be the same again. If I could have stuffed her in my backpack and taken her home, I totally would have!
After setting her down, I got to work helping with the profiles and coloring with the children. Toward the end of our ministry that day I stopped to talk with a few of the older girls-maybe fifteen or sixteen years old. I asked their names, and they giggled when I mispronounced them, then one of the girls asked mine and asked if I had a grandmother. I politely told her, “Yes, I have two grandmothers.” Then she asked if I had a father, and I replied, “Yes, I have a father.” Then she asked if I had a mother and any siblings. And I replied, “Yes, I have a mother and one brother.” And I will NEVER forget her response, as it is forever engrained in my mind. She said with such longing, “Oh wow, you must be so very happy!” It stunned me for a moment, and I thought to myself, yes…I guess I am… So… Very… Happy. I thought about that comment all day long. It broke my heart once again. She didn’t ask me if I had a television or a computer or an Iphone; she simply asked me if I had family members and based her sole assumption of my happiness on the fact that I DO.
As I thought about her, I began to read over some of the profile questions that the children answered for their sponsors. Their responses are heartbreaking. One of the questions was,
“What are you most thankful for?”
and the most common response was,
“To Be Alive”.
