34 days. 34 days until I step off a plane and touch U.S soil again. This time it’s not for a brief 3-5 hour layover. This time I am coming home! Everybody always says when the end approaches, it feels like it all flashed by your eyes in a second. I can say that (although it didn’t always feel that way) I, sure enough, am asking myself “where did the time go?”
Now, as home is finally in sight all kinds of emotions are coming about. I am so incredibly excited to see my love ones, and still at the same time I am grieving the end of such a beautiful season in my life. “Re entry” is a word commonly talked about during the final months of the race. People handle re entry into the states and life back home in different ways. Some find it harder to adjust than others. As I start to think about what life will be like after these 9 months, I realize that I actually can play a vital role in how well I adjust to life back home. That probably sounds like a no brainer–let me further explain. I’ve heard of many people (including myself) talk about how overwhelming home will be or how they just aren’t ready. Maybe they are ready, but one week into home they will have a mental breakdown and not know where to go from there. Many people are mad because people ask the wrong questions, or life just isn’t what you expected it to be. Let’s be real, we all have expectations. Holy crap has God taught me something about that. So many frustrations come from unmet expectations. Most of these expectations never being vocalized. Have you ever been upset/angry with someone because they didn’t do what you expected them to do? Then it seems like thy are totally oblivious to why you are upset, which in return makes you even more mad. It’s kinda funny how we think sometimes, isn’t it? I decided instead of expecting people to know what to say or to know what I need, I will help you out. I will tell you!
I need…
1. Questions! Ask me lots of questions, the more specific the better! It is incredibly hard to summarize 9 months or answer the question “how was your trip!?” Don’t worry, I won’t give you the stink eye if that is the first question you think to ask. I probably would too. Ask about someone I met in The Philippines, aak me what God taught me in Africa, ask me the most beautiful thing I saw in Nicaragua! I WANT to talk about the last 9 months of my life with you. I want to tell you all about the people I met, the memories I made, the good, the bad and everything in between. Don’t ever be scared to ask me something. This is a journey I want to share! It would be a disservice to The Lord and the Kingdom if I hoarded it for myself. Also, know that I want to hear about your last 9 months just as much as you want to hear about mine. My life has been no more of an adventure than yours has! I love hearing what has happened in your life, and plus I will need a break from talking! A girls gotta be able to drink some coffee too;)
2. Grace. I will need your grace. Yes, you will see changes that have happened in my heart. Some small, some big. However, I’m still human. I didn’t become holier than thou by going on a 9 month mission trip, and don’t want to be treated that way. I still mess up and I still struggle with things like any one else. Don’t feel like you need to act a certain way around me or put on a filter. Also, I will need time. Please don’t feel like if I don’t see you the first week I’m home, you aren’t one of my closest friends.
3. Feedback. NEVER thought I would say this one (I’m sure my squad is getting a laugh from this one). You’re probably thinking, “what the heck is feedback?” Feedback, is simply speaking the life you see in someone and calling people higher when they need it. On the race, you have to give feedback all the time. All. The. Time. I hated it at first. I hated confrontation before the race–now I see the beauty behind it. It isn’t about calling someone OUT, it is calling them UP. Too often there is something you notice in someone that is never spoken. If you see someone growing in something, call that stuff out! Speak some life people! We have the ability to speak life into people and encourage one another. If you see me slipping back into selfishness, greed, pride etc. sit down and have a conversation with me. Really. That may feel awkward, but I want it! I don’t want growth to stop here.
These may seem like 3 small things to you, but they are huge for me. If I said I wasn’t nervous to be back home, I’d be lying. But man am I pumped! Pumped to see you, talk with you, and do life with you. Know that I have nothing to prove.
See ya in 4 weeks, America!
Please keep the prayers coming, I need and love them.
With so much love,
Kristen
