I came on the world race to make change. I wanted to be the difference in people’s life and experience miracles. I wanted to watch the lame walk and the blind see, In Jesus’ name of course. But the problem with that theme was that It was all about what I wanted.
“I’ll stop searching for the answers, I’ll stop praying for an escape, and I’ll trust you God with where I am, and believe that you will have your way”
The funny thing about this song is that I used to listen to it on repeat counting down the days for the World Race to begin.
"If I can only graduate then I’ll be set"
"If I can finally live with purpose and passion, then my life will make so much sense.'
How silly of me to look to the future and think all the answers were within MY reach. God is showing me everyday how much control I want of my life. I want to call the shots. Even in the “abandonment” of the race, I seek to find fulfillment in my ways, not HIS. Whether or not there is scheduled ministry, I can seek the Lord in His word. Even if there isn’t a begger outside for me to feed, I can feed my team spiritually with a listening ear or word of encouragement. I’m sure in all the blogs I read before the race I came across one with insight about dropping expectations and really pressing into the Lord. Still I brought a load of my own thoughts and requirements for how it would look for me, or be different for me. My oh my God has a sense of humor. He loves me no matter what. After Paul surrendered his life to Christ and completely changed his ways, he spent YEARS seeking counsel and hearing from the Lord before he set out on a journey to further the Kingdom of Heaven. If I got to spend the rest of my days sitting in a room with a bible and the Holy Spirit, I would count myself just as blessed as Paul, regardless of what my flesh desires! Because even before I was born, God chose me and called me by his marvelous grace, and it pleased him (Galatians 1:15).
If you are reading this as a future racer, I suggest you do what you can to seriously drop your expectations and keep getting excited about what is to come. Also, know that right now where you sit qualifies you for the Kingdom of Heaven. You do not need to be shivering in a concrete house in Nepal for Jesus to delight in you.
Peace&Blessings,
Kristen
