Prone to Wander

If you have ever heard the song "Come Thou Fount" then you may recall these lyrics 

"Prone to Wander, Lord I feel it…" 

I have this image of the perfect missionary. A child of the Living God that is so in tune with His Holy Spirit that nothing can stop her from fulfilling God's will for her life. I realize that it is silly to conjur up the idea of a "perfect missionary" its just something I have honestly been struggling with lately, I cannot live up to my own image of the perfect missionary. I have a tendency to wander away from what God has for me. There is a horrible brokenness inside of me named sin that I cannot seem to shake. Just when I think that I have got it all together and I am running the race well, I stumble over my clumsy feet and I am pounded with a brutal fist of reality. I cannot do this alone. Even on my best day, when I am in total communion with my Heavenly Father, it's not enough. This seems like such a simple concept. Maybe you have learned this many times, I know that I have. But, God is teaching me this truth in a whole new way.

 He said "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made PERFECT in your weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. – 2 Corinthians 2:9

I have plenty of weaknesses to boast about, trust me. I am so NOT the ideal missionary. Each time I stumble, I get this overwhelming sense of guilt. So many people have already given so much in order for me to go on this world race(prayers, encouragement, money, equipement, etc). I cannot imagine letting them down, theres a voice inside of me saying "I have to do everything just right." I am beginning to realize that this guilt is not from the Lord. Because

He Loves me so much.
I am worth dying for.
I am a princess of King Jesus. 

I have a confession: I screw up. If you read this blog because you know me well and want to follow the journey God's taking me on then please continue. However, if you are reading because you would like to see a perfect reflection of Jesus, you'll have to stop reading and find the nearest bible. 

I cannot gaurentee that I won't make more mistakes in the future, but I can promise you that I wlll cling to the Cross of Christ Jesus for dear life and rejoice in its hope and life-giving wonders. 

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. – 2 Timothy 2:22

Yours Truly…