“And Mary said, ‘Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word’”
What if Mary had said “I can’t!”?
David Wilkerson explains why this isn’t mere humility, it’s unbelief:
When we complain of our inabilities and weaknesses, we’re not just putting ourselves down. We’re putting down our Lord. We’re refusing to believe His Word.
The Israelite spies were so focused on their inabilities, they were ready to quit. They even talked about going back to Egypt. What was God’s response to their fears and unbelief? “The Lord said unto Moses, How long will this people provoke me? And how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have shewed among them?” (Numbers 14:11). God charged them with one sin: unbelief.
Today, the Lord is asking his people the same question he asked Israel:“When will you believe what I promised you? I said my strength would come to you in your times of weakness. You’re not to rely on the strength of your flesh. I told you I would use the weak, the poor, the despised of this world to confound the wise. I am Jehovah, everlasting strength. And I’ll make you strong through my might, by my Spirit. So, when will you act on this? When will you trust what I say to you? [i] (shadesofgrace.org)
I have finished my application to reapply for the World Race under the higher standard required to be considered for the expedition route. I was putting this off because I did not feel i have skills to fill in or eloquent words to describe my passion and drive and heart well enough. I realized I am wasting time, as squad wars have been introduced today and I’m unable to participate because i am in a bit of a limbo between squads. Confronting this issue i realized my answers won’t change either way, and God’s decision to send me on the Expedition route will not change no matter how well i answer or how long i ponder on those answers.
When first considering the different routes, the Expedition jumped out at me above the others for a few reasons. It namely seemed like the greatest challenge, It also appears to be the place where we are needed most, and also the place many won’t go. I came into the race leaving everything that I love and have and intentionally am sacrificing all of myself for the kingdom. The fact that there is a route where i can give to the Lord even more and sacrifice even more automatically drew me to that place although it is scary and will be the hardest. There is nothing I wouldn’t give for the sake of the Gospel and this mission to share it that God has called me on, including my own life. I don’t think its accidental that i have that level of radical drive, and although i felt the Expedition was the best fit for my heart I wanted to make sure this was not about me in any way.
I asked God to reveal to me a country that would help me choose my route. I did this because although i felt a fire in my heart to choose expedition, this race belongs to God and is meant to accomplish His purposes and not mine. The country He revealed was India, so i took that step in obedience and chose January route 3. I do not think it was a mistake, but just because thats the next step He illuminated does not mean thats the final place He is leading me. He asks us only to be obedient and not to get too comfortable. As our route filled up with 80 racers, we knew something was going to happen that would cause us to fix that issue.
I was asked by my counselor how i would feel if asked to move routes. I told him that i felt strongly convicted that if put on that list, then God wants me to choose the 10/40 window. Ten minutes later, i received an email that waitlists had begun, and i had been put on it and may be asked to move. I said Yes Lord! And let my mobilizer know of my conviction. Knowing I would lose my spot on January 3, i invited friends and family to an urgent prayer meeting before I made the choice and felt it just confirmed again and again that this was my actual place on the race and felt much peace and knowledge that this was the right step.
And so, although i feel under qualified and i take that concern to the Lord, He tells me that He calls the most unlikely of people to accomplish great works in His name. In that, I am glad that i feel under qualified. This exalts His name higher, because He has declared in me this purpose, and will accomplish it by His ability alone and not mine. i know this is my place, not because its what i want. But because this is where He has specifically asked me to go, and I say yes.
There is much scripture to back up what God is saying to me through the Spirit. I say Lord, I am unqualified. He says to me I know, that is the point. In the same ways I have expressed the joy i feel that all those around me who see the work of the race being done by the Lord were able to see me at my lowest and with nothing, I rejoice now that they see me unqualified. This reveals such Glory for the Lord, and is a testament to who He is and His mighty power to accomplish great things.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Corinthians 26 Brothers, consider the time of your calling: Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were powerful; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are,…
Exodus 4:10-12 But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”
Isaiah 6:8 And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”
With that being said, I am certain this is where I will be serving, and that the application and re-interview process will confirm that yet again. I ask for prayer over preparation and over those who read my application and conduct the interview that determine my acceptance. I love each of you so much and appreciate more than i can express all of the ways you have gone out of your way to love and extend yourselves to me, even by just reading this post.
