15. I should be with friends, liking boys. Dating.
No. I’m 15 and pregnant.
People talk, sneer. Abortion. My only option? Yes.
People talk, sneer. Alone. 16 and alone. 17, no friends.
I can right this. Right? Let me prove I’m different.
I will prove I’m different. Fear. Hopelessness. Alone. Lost and wandering.
Guilt and shame are my shield. How do I cover it? I am who everyone says I am.
I can’t cover it. I am who everyone says I am. Can’t deny it. I’m not different.
21. Alone all over again. 21 and pregnant.
Shouldn’t I have learned the first time? I am who everyone says I am.
What do people think? Their eyes full of condemnation and deceit overwhelm me.
Their religion shames me.
Can I ever be different? No. I am who everyone says I am.
My future flashing before my eyes. How did I end up here again?
I’m a Christian why is this happening? How come You haven’t fixed me? I am who everyone says I am.
People talk, sneer. Alone. 21. 21 and pregnant.
Abortion. My only option? No. The easier choice? Yes.
Deeper. This pain. Unyielding. This pain. Despairing.
I am who everyone says I am. I am who I say I am.
Farther and farther I fall. Deeper and deeper I sink. I fold into myself. I hate it.
I hate me.
What’s next? Is there anything left for me? This pain. Buried. Deep.
24. This can’t be happening. No. No. Not again.
24. Alone. 24 and Pregnant. I tried. I tried so hard.
I did so well for so long. So long. How did I fail? I am who everyone says I am.
I am who I say I am. Pain. Buried deep.
Jesus
Jesus
Jesus
I refuse to do this anymore. How did end up here again?
WorldRace
25. 25 and afraid. Afraid of the sneers. Afraid of the condemnation.
I know it’s coming. Shame is building.
Helplessness. Fear.
Vulnerability. Transparency. Truth. Submission.
Freedom.
I am not who everyone says I am.
I am not who I say I am.
I am different.
There is hope.
There is freedom.
People talk, sneer. I am free.
I am free of fear.
I can’t get this right.
He can.
Jesus
Jesus
Jesus
He got it right. He is my strength, my shield, my rock.
I won’t deny it. I am helpless but not hopeless.
Deeper. Deeper. I fall. Grace consumes me. Love overwhelms me.
Truth has set me free.
I love me. I love my past. I’m open. I’m honest.
I love Him.
The pain. Uprooted. The pain. Cast out.
Further and further I fall. Deeper. I can’t breathe.
Your love, suffocating me. I love it.
What’s next? Life. Life is open to me.
Life and life abundantly. Vulnerability brings freedom. I have it. I am free.
People talk. People sneer.
But me? I no longer fear.
