The race isn’t what you think it is. The lessons are different than you would imagine. The pictures don’t translate into what is actually happening; the day by day and you would never ever ever have thought that you didn’t know yourself or worse yet, Jesus.
We all know Christianity 101: That Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross and rose again on the third day to reconcile us to God so that we may be freed from sin and slaves to God. My thought is that if this is true and I really believe this then why is my relationship with God looking so much different than I imagined it to look on the race? How come my prayers are not being answered? How come my walk with God is more difficult now than when I was comfortable at home? Shouldn’t I be hearing from God more now? Well, honestly a lot of it I still don’t know, but what I do know from the wisdom and understanding that only Christ could have revealed to me, I will share with you.
First off, God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. Like seriously.
Secondly, Christ has shown me that my prayers are being answered, and that is why my relationship with God on the race is looking so much different than I could have imagined. The prayers that my heart cried out long ago, long before I even knew my heart was crying out, the Lord was preparing me for this journey. This journey of healing, growth, acceptance, love, grace and above all the relationship He had always desired and destined me to have with Him is being fulfilled. He is bringing me to the revelation that I am a sinner saved by grace. Like really….when you ponder this truth and ask God to show you the true wisdom and meaning of a sinner saved by grace you will fully comprehend the point of this post. ‘Where sin abounded, grace did abound more exceedingly’ Romans 5:20. The more the intense consciousness of being a sinner, the more intense the experience of grace.
The deeper the root of dwelling on the greater revelation that I am a sinner saved by grace leads me to a much desired place of humility and dependence on God that I didn’t know I was welcomed to. As much as God cares about the intricate areas of my life and will lead and direct them, it is all and only for the grander purpose of His glory which is the big picture. I will never forget the sins of my past, but I will chase after the hope that is not seen. I will stand in the truth of my place before the King of kings and Lord of lords, and I will look to the glory and freedom that has been freely given to me with outstretched hands and a prostrate heart.
Papa, dwelling on my past sins can keep me in patterns of unforgiveness and bitterness, but instead of dwelling or forgetting I must use the wisdom of being a sinner saved by grace to propel me forward with intense joy and thankfulness. I can never forget, but Papa I pray that I will not be deceived that You are making a new way. Your way. Help me to seek You with all of my heart, even when I’m afraid to see what you will reveal, and even when I know it will hurt. Thank You for reconciling me to You, and not counting my sins against me. For giving me comfort in times of troubles so that I can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort I have received from You. Lord, my heart rejoices in being part of the bigger picture, yet how You are so intricately involved in my life makes my heart sing. Help me to focus on You so that I may continue to be free of myself and serve You out of the joy of salvation You have freely given. Papa, above all Your will be done. Amen.
