I’ve always wanted to be sexy.
You know…a Victoria, who had a secret. I wanted to have that allure on people. To feel wanted and desired.
To be “fierce” as Tyra Banks would say.
But no..my frizzy hair, glasses and baby face made sure to keep that from happening.
Growing up, the adjectives people used to described me were, kind, nice, smart, loving and thoughtful…adorable…man that was my least favorite. To many surprise…mine included, I wanted to suppress all of these characteristics to attempt to portray an image that is shallow. To be an air brushed photo…
I have always had the innate instinct to be kind. To open doors for people, to pick up something someone had dropped…or tell the girl who gets bullied on a daily basis that she is seen and beautiful.
With these actions, came the comments “Klancy, you are just so sweet.” Or “thank you sweetheart.” Which always bothered me when people my age called me sweetheart. I hated those comments at the time, because kindness takes humility. Coming along side people, and putting your self in a vulnerable position of possibly being rejected. Viewing yourself as less than. And a secret part of me didn’t want to be less than, I wanted to be revered for my capability to “allure.”
Man…typing this all out now makes me laugh at teenage Klancy and see just how skewed my mindset was, and loss of identity. But all these feelings were so real, and I know I am not the only girl who has felt them. It also shines light onto how much media affects ones definition of beauty.
When I was 16, God encountered me in the mist of hardship and darkness. I began to really press into Him, and started to see and experience true beauty and love. Reading scripture, I saw that some of the adjectives people used to describe me, were used to describe the Holy spirit as well. That my innate instinct to be kind, was desires from the Holy spirit to love. And the value and depth of love, that when all else fades away, love will forever remain.
“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13
One day, I saw a video on YouTube of a speech by Ashton Kutcher at the teen choice awards, named “Being sexy.” so naturally…I clicked on it, and was shocked by what he had to say. He started his speech by saying how his name isn’t even Ashton, his real name is Chris. He changed his name to Ashton when he became an actor. He continued on by listing 3 things he learned while he was Chris.
1. Opportunity
2. Being sexy
3. Living life
He started talking about each of the three things and when he got to being sexy, the crowd roared. But I don’t think anyone expected what he was going to say…
Yes Ashton!
Preach!!
Hearing this from a man who is considered one of the top 50 sexiest men alive, really helped change my mindset and showed me even more the things that truly matter. He ended his speech by saying “Always be sexy.” and pointed to his head. So i’m going to end this blog the same way.
Always be sexy.
*Points to head*
