“Small talk is an informal type of discourse that does not cover any functional topics of conversation or any transactions that need to be addressed. Small talk is conversation for its own sake.”
“Small Talk. Useless and unnecessary conversation attempted to fill the silence in an awkward situation. Commonly backfires into feelings of loneliness and social discomfort. Usually is initiated by comments regarding the current weather, weather pattern of the past/future few days or major weather disturbances in the recent past.”
So you can’t blame me for not liking it.
I find it hard pretending to care about what said stranger’s plans are for the rest of the day.
When they ask me a useless question in return, how can I respond knowing that they actually don’t care either?
I am very goal orientated, so if there is no goal apart from useless chatter… I’d probably prefer not to.
Sometimes I don’t understand when small chat is happening… Like, why would you ask me that question? My teammates have had to remind me that small chat is in progress. And there is in fact, no point at all to the question.
I know pleasantries are needed. And I like to say hello & see how you are! If I know you, I really do care.
But the small chat part, especially with strangers, is not my strong point.
Alas, “His strength is made perfect in our weakness”
Chiang Mai, Thailand. May 2017
We were staying at a hostel which was also a cafe. This place was famous for World Racers as the owner is a follower of Jesus & does various ministries within the local community. She loves to host World Racers & get them to partner with her. The Thai staff that worked at the cafe were interns, and all but 1 identified with being Buddhist.
One morning, as I sat there half asleep with coffee & my Bible, one of the interns came over to me & said hello.
Inside I was like “ahhhhhhhh” “noooooooo”
This was the start of a draining small chat session.
With fingers still in my Bible making sure I don’t loose my spot, I looked up.
I was prepared.
After years of practice I know how to look busy & quickly end it.
But then she asked, “do you like reading the Bible?”
She looked at me intently, and I could tell she was genuinely interested & wanted to know more.
In between her questions I asked her about what she believes…
She said that she reads a book too & tries to do what it says. It tells you how to live a good life.
I asked her if she will go to heaven? “Maybe” she replied. “But there is no guarantee”
Then I asked her if Buddha loves her? She shook her head & said no.
Tears came to my eyes… that is so heartbreaking. I can’t really remember ever sharing my faith with such heart & urgency after hearing that. I usually find it hard to explain but the words just came pouring out. It made so much sense!
God knew we could never live a perfect life… no matter how hard we tried. So He sent Jesus as the ultimate sacrifice, so that whoever believes in Him are guaranteed eternal life. Because He loves us. The Bible is a love story. His promise to us forever. The eternal creator of the universe loves us. And that is what makes all the difference.
She knelt down next to me & continued asking about what parts of the Bible to read. I told her I would start in the New Testament & then go back to the Old Testament. This way she can fully understand who Jesus is & then go back to fully understand why we need Him so badly.
The conversation ended after about 20-30 minutes.
It was completely unplanned, completely natural, and started off with what I thought was going to be small chat.
It occurred to me that she wanted to read the Bible.
So on my last day I walked to the book store & bought her a Bible in Thai.
In the front I wrote her a letter.
As I started to write, God reminded me of a dream I had earlier that week…
In my dream someone was flicking through the Bible frantically. Searching & searching. His voice said:
“keep searching & you will find freedom”.
When I woke up in the morning I couldn’t make sense of it… I decided it wasn’t for me & must be for someone else, but I didn’t know who.
So as I was writing the letter I realized it was for her.
How cool is that. One of those “OHHHHHH” moments! So great. God would have sent me on the World Race even if it was just for her. That’s how much He loves her.
So there… God worked a miracle out of a potentially dangerous small chat situation.
[DISCLOSURE: I caught myself asking my teammates what they had for lunch today. And I realize, that is my life right now. I actually care so much about what they had for lunch]
