A few weeks back, I found myself in the crossfire of a close friend’s humble complaints about life and a mentor consoling the frustrations of the friend’s current condition. To honor their request I will leave their names … nameless.
We had just finished our meal when our light conversation took a turn when my friend’s facial and physical response began to be read as disheartened. When he finally surrendered and opened up about what was going on, it turned out, everything seemed to be falling apart. To name a few things, he recently was caught with a few parking tickets, he had survived a significant car accident, he had a very large debt from some extreme dental work that insurance had not released for the past year and half. On top of that he was carrying some disappointing unmet life expectations and personal timelines. His honest response took a grip on my heart.
“I don’t understand, I don’t get why this is all happening to me right now, I mean, I’m doing everything right! I give when God says to give. I serve when God tells me to serve. I sacrifice for others.”
Brutal honesty. Vulnerability. Yet, how many Christians really openly show their resentment when things don’t go right.
Ok, quick rewind. A few days after Christmas this same friend presented me with an extreme and overly generous gift towards the World Race mission trip. While slipping the greeting card into my hands, he smiled and said, “This should cover this Christmas, your birthday and the Christmas and birthday I’ll miss and everything in between.” He then continued to say that before writing the check, he prayed about how much he would support and invest into the trip. He felt led to give whatever commission he would make from the prior month. Surprising him and me, the amount was certainly an irregular monthly amount he normally makes at his company. Stunned and caught off guard I stood emotionless with my jaw to the floor. “Thank you” couldn’t express the right words of what God has and continues to teach me through his heart of giving.
Now here I was wordless, sitting in front of him. He was financially unstable a week after giving to my support fund.
“I don’t get it either. But then are we supposed to? God puts us through grey areas to teach us, right?”
I was mentally trying to block the ideas of confusion and guilt that was quickly forcing itself to cloud my vision.
G o d , I s t i l l t r u s t y o u .
Fast forward a few weeks after and I am sitting under a teaching by Jason Upton at my church Sunday morning. Jason spoke on the blind man, Bartimaeus, on the side of the road that Jesus stops to talk to. A clever truth is surfaced in the story when Jesus, who didn’t just heal the pleading blind man in his tracks, but rather consoled the man and asked, “What can I do for you?” A born-blind man, pleading for mercy chasing after Jesus, is asked a pretty obvious question, right? The deeper truth, however, is that God doesn’t just want to fix or teach us, but he wants to know us. He calls for us, we run to him, and he waits to hear our problems and how He can help us.
As for my friend, I wish he had heard the story. I wish my friend knew the imprint God left on my heart, from his faithfulness to give and his pursuit to trust Him, despite the opposition.
After service, I received a familiar phone call. The friend had just received confirmation that his $9000 debt for his dental issue was being fully covered by his insurance.
“Holy smokes, what?!”
God isn’t only around to fix our needs. He isn’t just teaching us a lesson. He calls for us and asks, “What do you want me to do for you.” He lovingly pursues us and then graciously waits for us to come and present our frustrated requests to him.
G o d , I s t i l l t r u s t y o u .
Mark 10:46-52
Blind Bartimaeus Receives His Sight
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”
So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”
“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followedJesus along the road.
