I washed the World Race down the drain today.
Literally.
Well, maybe it was just the dirt from the Race that was still on my tent.
But that got me thinking of every Racer’s favorite question: what’s next?
Now that my gear is cleaned and packed up, now that my passport is stashed in my sock drawer with little hope of getting out next month, what do I do?
Of course I have my life plan, ideas for work, hopes to do CGA (Center for Global Action, an apprenticeship program run by Adventures in Missions), but that only covers the surface stuff. What am I going to do with life, with what I learned on the Race?
My time running around the globe, serving people, and living in constant community taught me a lot about who God is and who I am. I learned about God’s unending love, His mercy, His grace in ways that touched my heart more than ever before. I was told by a teammate that the moment I was most beautiful was when I bared my heart, put all my pride on the shelf, and sat in honest vulnerability before a group of people that 7 months prior had been complete strangers. My definitions of beauty, truth, and dependance changed almost entirely.
Continuing to learn these lessons, making them concrete in my everyday life, was easy to do while in an environment that constantly encourages growth. So now here’s my dilemma: I’m not in that environment anymore.
That’s what is next for me. Learning how to grow in the Lord in the “real world,” learning to make time in my day for Him, learning to ask for prayer and to offer prayer in an environment where that isn’t the norm, learning to sit and be still even if life around me is going nonstop.
I want to know who I am in the Lord so solidly that I can take that identity into any and every environment without wavering. I want to stand in the truths the Spirit has spoken to my heart regardless of where I am or who I am with. And to do that, I need to be away from the Race for a while. I need to be without those people who make it easy for me to act a certain way. No crutches, just God, me, and a lot of determination.
My trip may be over, but the journey certainly is not.
