It's hard to know what to say about training camp. How much or how little do I divulge? Do I share the revelations and brokenness I experienced? Do I detail the challenging living conditions, or unexpected cuisine for meals? Do I describe each meaningful interaction I had with countless amazing people? So much happened in that one week span, I can't even begin to fit it all into one blog (or even two as some of my fellow racers have).
So then I'm left with another question: What stood out the most?
As I reflected on training camp (or TC as we MSquaders lovingly refer to it), I was journaling and asking the Spirit to prepare my thoughts for what I need to say in this blog. I thought I needed to talk about the areas of my life, specifically my selfishness and pride, that the Father pointed out to me over the week and how He has begun to break those chains in my life. I thought I needed to be gritty and real and illicit responses of sympathy and joy for my honesty and progress. But as I was outlining my thoughts, I stopped. I felt no longer compelled to talk about myself, or even God's work in me. I turned the page in my journal and thought about the awe inspiring group of people I am now blessed to be a part of.
Hebrews 11 and 12 have always been two of my favorite passages in the New Testament. I love how the author uses the faith of our forefathers to give us hope for the future. But it doesn't stop there, the author continues to speak truth about our source of hope in Christ and how, with such an amazing cloud of witnesses: past, present, and future, we can see God's plan for His people come to fruition. Our faith is not in vain. Praise the LORD!
Now I come back to my previous question. What stood out the most? Answer: the people.
Training Camp changed me. But not just because we had some incredible topics that were spoken on, or because worship was really intense, or because we overcame some challenges. It's because I did all those things along side my brothers and sisters in Christ. The Spirit was present because we were gathered together in His Name. There was life spoken, brokenness and healing happening, new bonds being formed, love, and encouragement because we are an army rising up for the LORD. That is what I was overwhelmed with as I was journalling. I kept being reminded of the people, each person who impacted me even without trying. The leaders who shared their wisdom and experience with us, leading by example and showing us their unashamed love of Christ. The staff who served with joy and compassion, giving of their time and talents to get us all through the week. My fellow racers who did life together, being honest in times of laughter and times of tears. I am amazed at this community I find myself now a part of. My heart swells with joy and humility as I think how these people have chosen to come together, and embraced me as a sister. How do I possibly deserve to be a part of this? With my haughty, loudmouth, sarcastic, and sometimes crass manner…how do I belong here? But God has called me forth, showed me that I am no better or worse than any of my brothers and sisters. We are all broken and sinful in the light of His perfect righteousness, but in the light of His Grace we are whole, beautiful, new creations. Instead of seeing my sin and my flaws, He has chosen me as His daughter to be a light to the nations. He has chosen me to be part of this phenomenal family whose love, joy, and talents are going to do unimaginably great things.
My family is fierce. And I love them beyond words. My soul cannot contain the excitement I feel for the things I know the Father is going to do through you all next year.
