Man God hasn’t left me alone.
He’s been teaching me about Love lately, in the strangest of ways.
It just won’t go away, like a splinter under your fingernail, painful and nearly invisible.
I leave in six days, and every step forward feels like that cliche two steps back. Everything I get done just points me forward to where I am going.
This year is slowly creeping up on me, and soon, I won’t be able to escape it.
Everywhere, God has made it quite apparent of what he wants me to learn this year.
It is the greatest commandment. Love.
How many times is that stupid word abused in our culture? People throw it around like it doesn’t have any weight, kind of reminiscent of a water balloon really. You throw that word “Love” at someone, in the hopes that they might catch it and return it to you, but in reality, it slips through their fingers and the balloon breaks, dousing them in water and soaking them to the bone. But then it is gone, and you never get it back.
We say we Love music. We love food. We love our Prada Backpack. And then we have the AUDACITY to tell people we love them in the same breath? No wonder the Greeks had like, four words for love. At least that narrows it down a little. Do you Agápe me? Or merely Philia me?
And somehow, in the midst of all of this, ESPECIALLY as Christians, we are COMMANDED to love. Love unconditionally. Love without faults. Love without expectations. Love like GOD loves. Love. Love. LOVE.
And God is called Love. What? How in the WORLD am I supposed to compete with that?? I’m a human. I don’t think ANYWHERE in the bible has a human ever been called anything but SINFUL.
God is love. We were created in God’s image. We were created to be love too. What happened to us? Where is the disconnect?
I think it happened in the garden, where we loved ourselves more than we loved God.
And now, we’re trying to pick up the pieces of this crazy little ride called “Love.”
I’m surrounded by people who are struggling with love. Being loved too much. Withholding their love from others. Not knowing HOW to love. Mistaking Lust for Love. Not being loved enough.
Love. Love. LOVE.
And this is what I’m supposed to learn this year. Somehow. Learn to love people like God loves them.
I’m slowly learning the concept. Just yesterday, I was faced with a decision I can only VAGUELY compare to what Jesus MAY have faced in the garden.
“Do I love them enough to die for them, even if they don’t love me?”
No wonder he sweat drops of blood. If I allow myself to think about it, it makes me want to tear my own heart out. This is the lesson God has for me at the moment. Will you love them, despite the fact that you may NEVER be loved the way you want to be?? Do you continue to love? Or do you give into your flesh and push them away again?
This has come up so many times in my life, I KNOW it is important to learn. These people are in my life to make me more like Christ. Die to yourself Kirsten. Love them regardless. It’s going to hurt. Just look at the cross.
Who am I, as a “Follower of Christ”, to think that I can somehow learn this aside from the Cross? If I am to follow my God, shouldn’t I follow Him to the Cross? The ultimate sacrifice of Love?
What a tough lesson. I can’t wait to read this in a year and see what I’ve learned.
