Hard days come whether you live in a city called Sugar Land (my home town) or if you’re in Arusha, Tanzania. I haven’t spoken with my parents in over 3 weeks. I would really like to eat from the salad bar at Jason’s Deli. The flies buzzing around me as I sit on the squatty potty still does not feel “normal.” Most times I laugh and say aloud, “I can’t believe this is my life.” We shower with roughly 3 liters of water, once or twice a week, depending on preference. We eat rice and beans every day and to my surprise, when mealtime comes, I consider myself blessed to eat them. It’s not because I have a newfound love for this African staple, but by the time our meal is ready, I’m starving and anything tastes good. Despite the limited contact with family and friends and the adjustment of living life in Africa, I’ve been reminded lately to be truly thankful for the gifts God has given me.
One of the hard days I’ve had this month was about a week ago. I woke up in a bad mood and I was fasting from food for the day so as our team headed out for ministry, I was grumpy and hungry. Our team spent the day sharing the gospel and praying over multiple people in the village. Several Africans gave their life to Christ, we saw two men healed of physical pain, and we laid hands over several small African boys and prayed over them. As we walked back to our house to eat, my teammates were rejoicing and thanking God for what just taken place. I was not one of them. Instead, I was quiet and kept to myself. Later on that night, I shared with my teammates that I had been distracted for most of the day. I was distracted by my intense hunger pangs. I was distracted by multiple lies from the enemy, which allowed me to feel intense shame and condemnation. By God’s grace, He still used me to speak an encouraging word to a group of women but I definitely was not present and engaged in ministry.
As I was about to lay my head down, I decided to open up my gift journal. Quick back-story: I was encouraged by Ann Voskamp’s book, “One Thousand Gifts,” to chronicle my own list of 1,000 gifts throughout the duration of the World Race.
Despite my hard day, God revealed to me multiple blessings. I wrote down 13 gifts, which is the most I’ve written down in one day since the start of the race.
Here are some I wrote:
288. a million stars in the sky
289. praying over a group of African boys
292.cool mornings and afternoons…in Africa of all places!
293. sharing some of my struggles with teammates and receiving support and encouragement
294. making it through a full day of fasting
295. reading through this journal and being reminded of how God has blessed me on the race
298. sharing John 15 with a group of African women
299. Ashlee buying me 3 mini bananas for when I come off my fast
Ann Voskamp writes, “I didn’t start with any specific steps, but through this intentional, daily practice of giving thanks, I found myself on a transformative journey that affected every aspect of my life – including all the broken places. God began to show me the graces, the love gifts, that were right before me, waiting to be noticed, waiting to be received. This easily overlooked stuff, the small-and especially the hard-became for me a life-giving stream of joy in Him.”
I was challenged to notice an abundance of God’s “love gifts” on an especially difficult day, a day that revealed my brokenness and desperate need for God. When I finally laid my head to rest, a genuine smile came across my face for the first time all day. I experienced the fullness of joy which is only found in Christ, not my circumstances.
“We give thanks to God not because of how we feel but because of who He is.”-Ann Voskamp
Most of the time, it’s the little things the Lord allows me to notice that bring lightness and joy, which is especially needed when I don’t think I can make it through the day, or 5 more months on the race. I encourage you to develop the habit of counting gifts from each day. 🙂 I know it will surely bless you.
