Well, it sure has been quite some time since I last wrote a blog. I have had many thoughts float around in my head about what to write but I just have never sat myself down to write out those thoughts. The one thought that keeps coming to my mind time and time again is discipline. I feel as I have been lacking discipline, self-discipline, in a few areas of my life recently. Let me share with you some of my struggles with self-discipline and what God has been teaching me through this time.
I have recently found myself very tired and struggling to get a good night sleep. Work 9 hour days on 5 hours of sleep my work for some people, but not for me. I come home exhausted and then sleep for an hour or two before supper. I find myself really struggling with this as I feel that it is one, not healthy for me, and two, it does not allow me to be at my best to serve God in my daily life and as I prepare for this World Race adventure. So then I think, “Why is it so hard for me to get to bed at a decent hour in order to get a good night's sleep?” Very rarely is there ever a really good reason. Most of the time I am wasting time on the computer, not being very productive, sitting around thinking about something I need to do but am too lazy to do it, or I make my “To-Do” lists for the week. I realize I do not have to be “doing” something every waking minute of the day, but I know I can use my minutes in a much more productive way and manage my time better too. So what am I learning from all this? I am learning that I need to prioritize and focus on the things that need to and get them done. I know it may sound simple and basic, but I am telling you, it has been a big struggle for me the past little while but I am glad I do not have to deal with this on my own. I have a Saviour who made me and loves me and will not make me work through this on my own! Thank you Jesus!
Staying on the whole self-discipline topic, I have another area of my life that I have been struggling to be disciplined in: my personal time with Jesus. My days are busy. Busy with work, with family and friends, with fundraising and lots of other World Race prep. But with all the busyness, there is no good reason for me to not spend time with my Lord. Without Him I cannot accomplish half of what I need to each day. I find myself quickly reading through a passage or two before I finally go to bed to “relieve” the guilty feeling of not having spent time with Him, in His Word and in prayer. That is not the way I want to spend my time with Jesus. I want it to be a time of joy and learning. A time of refreshment and peace. A time where I put aside all the busyness of life and just find rest in fellowship with Jesus. This is the what I desire the most. I desire to spend time with Jesus, just getting to know Him more and and grow closer to Him each and everyday. I know that Satan is hard at work to try and use whatever he can, be it busyness or guilt, to keep me from spending time with Jesus. Thankfully, my God is watching over me and protecting me and i know He will not let me go into the hands of the enemy!
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—
Ephesians 6:11-18
To bring this blog to a close I just want to share something I really felt God tell me about this whole self-discipline thing: Do not dwell on it! When I dwell on my failings I am no longer looking to Jesus and all He is and all He has done for me, and all He will continue to do for me. I do not want to live a sin-consciousence life; I want to live a Jesus-conscious life! I do not need to confess my sins or guilt everyday in order to be forgiven because Jesus paid for those sins once for all at Calvary. I am saved by grace and not by my own doing and how “good” of a Christian I am. I have a Saviour who came to earth, died for my sins, and rose again so that I do not have to rely on my works or goodness to my saved from my sins, I just have to believe in Him!
And for that I am grateful!
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:8-10
For such a High Priest was fitting for us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and has become higher than the heavens; who does not need daily, as those high priests, to offer up sacrifices, first for His own sins and then for the people’s, for this He did once for all when He offered up Himself.
Hebrews 7:26-27
By that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.
Hebrews 10:10
