Monday night, Gary Black spoke to us about spiritual gifts and Prophesy. When he finished speaking, I got in line to speak to him and tears began to pour out of me. I was still holding on to the rejection we had worked on this summer.
We talked briefly and prayed through it, but I was still not at peace. He promised we would talk more in detail the following day. I sat on the step and just sobbed uncontrollably.
As I sat there, I felt God telling me that I had to cry all of the tears I had suppressed throughout my life. The tears I was too proud or too strong to cry. Later, with my team, the gates were opened, and the healing tears rolled out like a flood. I sobbed so hard that I thought I would either pass out or throw up, but the weight of all of those tears was lifted.
I woke up a new person. People said I even looked different.
The next morning, I pulled out a book that I had brought about healing from past hurts. The very first story in it was almost an exact replication of something that had happened in my life when I was young. They listed the most common excuses for not choosing to seek healing. “It wasn’t a big deal”, “It was a long time ago, what difference does it make now”, “I seem to be doing okay, so why bring it up now”. These are all things I had told myself.
I knew that God was showing me that this was something I had to deal with. I found one of my teammates and shared it with her. I didn’t really feel any different after talking about it, but she did confirm some of the things I had always assumed.
The next day, Gary asked me to share my story with the rest of the group. I did, and it was amazing. The doors had opened, and many lives were impacted. People shared their hurts and struggles. We forgave each other, and people in our past. We all left there changed.
