Praise the Lord! God is teaching me so much as I have been on this race. I am learning to listen to God. In doing this I have realized that God does not always direct in a way that makes sense in a human prespective. A couple of examples come to mind:
Before the race even began I felt God burdening my heart for the girls who are stuck in the sex industry. I knew it was something God was calling me to. As we prayed about our ministries in Thailand, I knew God was leading me to SHE. Even though most of March it didn’t look like I would even have a chance to come, God worked it out. This is exactly where God meant me to be. Stangely enough, it was not for reasons that I would have ever expected. God has showed me that this is not a ministry that I am passionate about. I have loved building relationships with the girls and seeing the amazing things that God is doing here. It is undeniable that God is doing huge things here and will continue to expand this ministry even to other nations. But God has other plans for me. Most of the girls here with me really want to come back, possibly for long term positions. It has been such a blessing to see their hearts being drawn to this ministry. God has perfectly orchestrated the talents and gifts needed in this team of girls to best serve SHE.
God has really filled my heart, in the past week, with a passion for children, youth and families. I look out onto the backstreets of SHE and I see the families going about their lives and I long to be a part of it. I really don’t know what this means, because I have 7 more months of more ministries and God tugging my heart in different directions. I’m just so thankful that I have had this opportunity to be a part of this work and to hear God say it is good, but not for me. Before going on the race I really had no desire to go to Africa, but God has been giving me an excitement about Africa lately, especially for the hundreds and thousands of children! I can’t wait to go! But that is skipping ahead of where I am now. Which leads to next month and another area I have been really needing to listen to God for direction…
Next month is our ATL (Ask The Lord) month. We have no set plans for which country we are to go to. In our teams, we are to pray and seek the Lord for where He is directing us. Once God reveals the country we are to go to, we are to find a contact or ministry we can get involved in for the month. This all takes so much more faith and obedience than I realized! The entire month in Cambodia I really prayed about our ATL. God directed me to Malaysia, it has a large muslim population and I had been given contact information for at least three people in Kuala Lumpur. I was so excited to go to Malaysia. But the rest of my team (excpet Noah) seemed to not share my excitement. They just kept saying we needed to keep praying. As I did, I sent a couple of e-mails back and forth between me and one of the contacts in KL. I was sure that we were set to go to Malaysia. But once I got to Thailand the contact dried up. I have not heard anything since March from her. It became something that was making me anxious. I dreamed two nights in a row about going to Malaysia and having nothing there to do After the second night I prayed and gave the whole thing to God. I knew that He had it under control and I could do nothing about it. I had peace after that. A few days later Hanna e-mailed me and told me that the girls had been praying and God was giving them direction into La-os. It was strange because not even once did God give me any leading towards La-os. That’s where the obedience comes in. I would really like to go to Malaysia, but it seems as though God is closing that door and opening a door into La-os. Another teammate had a contact there that has really been coming through. I have no desire to go to La-os, but I can see God leading us there. No matter where we go, God will use us. It does not matter if I have a burden for the place, or even if we are all in agreement. As a team, we have to go into our ATL month with open hands and hearts. Listening to God about this has really shown me that God does not always lead with specific words or clear cut direction. God wants us to bring kingdom wherever we are and my desires should not get in the way of that.
“We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconceived notions as to what God is fitting us for. God engineers everything; wherever He puts us our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to him in that particular work.” My Utmost For His Highest, April 23
I praise God because He is so faithful in leading us. He is so faithful in providing what we need. He is so faithful to give us rest. He is so faithful to carry our burdens and to expel all fear!
