Have you ever heard that the grass is greener on the other side? Why is it that we always want what we cannot have? Why can’t we just be happy living in the moment. Paul says contentment is a cause for great gain. Indeed it is. Yet here I find myself longing for things I can’t have and didn’t even really enjoy that much when I did have them, like a couch and a TV…well the couch I loved but I didn’t even like watching TV…they don’t really have couches here…and I digress…
Another thing I long for is american food and just getting to eat what I want. I’m so tired of carbs! We just eat things like noodles, rice, and bread…can’t a girl get a little more protein? Just dumb things like that. Its not like I am starving by any means. Why can’t I just be content with what I have, where I am?! This is just a hard lesson I am trying to learn.
I also just want to tell you that spiritual warfare is real. This month I have felt it more than any. I fully believe that its because we are out here doing evangelism; we are out here on the fore front of the battle lines, striving to spread the good news in unity and the enemy hates that and is doing all he can to thwart that. Let me tell you the ways he has tried to do that over this last few weeks. First, he started making me question why I am here, saying that I am not doing any good here, and using my narcolepsy to hold me back. I get sleepy at ministry cuz we are often in small dark rooms listening to people talk, and that’s just like putting an alcoholic in a bar when it comes to my battle with sleep. He says, you’d be better back home where you can just take all the naps you want. Well I bet you’d like that wouldn’t you Satan…just take me back to my comfortable sleepy life and not live outwardly for God, just sleep my life away in comfort. That is how he is deceiving many of you in america, that you can live and sleep well in your comfort but the reality is that people are dying…real live people, and he doesn’t want us to realize it but it’s the truth. I felt more homesick this month than ever, I actually considered going home because he told me I might do more good there. I know now that going home is not an option, but these were all very real feelings, but all lies from the pit of hell. Sorry if that sounds dramatic but its true. Satan would love if I gave up my place and purpose here. He wants that because he doesn’t want me to reach my potential in Christ. He knows the damage I’m gonna do for my Lord. It is a very real battle, all around us, and even within ourselves at times. This is the time when it is crucial to hold fast to the truth we know!
I can tell you now that Satan was telling be all those things because he didn’t want me to be here, where I stand today. Today, I stood on a river bank and preached to women of all ages the full gospel. Today I talked to a teenage boy about my faith in Jesus. Today I encouraged a believing girl who’s father didn’t approve of Christianity and where she lived didn’t allow her to own a bible. Today I spoke a message about Gods attributes and the gospel to a room full of believers. Today, I stepped out in BOLDNESS to share my faith and Gods truth with many people, and my father gets the glory for ALL of it. He is so proud of me and I know it, I feel it. He has been waiting for me to step into this kind of obedience to speak with boldness and authority, for over a year. Even as I write this now, he tells me, I always knew you had it in you, I knew because I put it there.
And this is only the beginning.
