You know those people that are like just great with kids and kids just flock to them? Yeah, I have never been one of those people. I have never taught a children’s Sunday school, helped with the toddler class, or anything like that. I always felt weird around kids, and didn’t know how to relate to them. Maybe I wasn’t enthusiastic enough or maybe I just didn’t love enough, but working with children has always felt like one of my weaker areas in the talents section.
However this last month at El Shaddai, God changed my heart. When we found out a big part of our ministry would be spending two hours a day tutoring one of the kids, I was kind of bummed. I was especially disheartened after the first day when my little buddy hardly talked to me or responded to me. I was like, God how am I supposed to help this kid? What could I possibly have to offer. I am no teacher, and if the have math homework well Lord really help us then. But by the end of the week things would change drastically.
I decided that whether I wanted to be there or not, I had to act like I wanted to. Kids can pick up on those things, like whether you care, if you want to really be there, stuff like that. I did care, I just didn’t know what to DO. But my little buddy deserved the best from me and I was going to try. Two hours is a long time to work on homework, and they often didn’t have two hours worth. So after we finished I whipped out my bible and had us reading psalms, to see how good of a reader he was. He surprised me and was pretty good.
My first buddy, “MTZ”* was in fifth grade. He was shy at first for about a week but then came out of his shell quickly. However due to a mix up, one of the girls had gotten put with one of our guy racers, and requested to be put with a girl buddy, so we switched so MTZ could have a positive male influence. I felt really at peace about this switch, but to my shock, the shy MTZ was sad about the switch at first. I looked at the situation as just one way to make connections with more kids there, and God blessed that and gave me opportunities for more connections.
(*name has been changed to protect their identity)
My new buddy was a sweet reserved girl in fifth grade, we’ll call her “Nomi”*. She had cute smile and such a beautiful little girl. She loved do giggle with her friends and talk about us in their local language Siswati. Luckily she would usually tell me what they were saying when I asked. It helped me that she was very respectful and responsive to me. She made it easy to fall in love with her, and she was only one of the first.
One of mantras for this trip has been “take advantage of every opportunity” and so that’s what I set out to do. I spent lots of extra time outside of tutoring time with the kids because thats what we were here for this month: to pour out the love of Jesus into these kids. I sat with them, read to them, played my guitar with them and let them do my hair. They loved playing with it. We still aren’t quite sure how they know how to do hair so well because all of them have short hair, even the girls. One of them claims she just always knew. Haha. So cute.
Through all this time spent with them, I fell in love with them. One in particular was Nomi’s friend “Nat”*. Nat had the cutest and most infectious laugh, and a great mischevious sense of humor. When I first met her she gave me the name of one of the other girls and when I called her that, died laughing and corrected me. She was just a purely joyful child.
What God did in my heart last month was bring out another side of Himself within me. When I would sit down, and have three kids in my lap and three more right next to me, all I could think is this must be how Jesus felt when he said let the little children come to me in Mark 10:13-16.
I didn’t hold anything back. I loved them as best I knew how, but thankfully, God showed me how to love them and treat them. I told them I loved them and that Jesus did too. I scolded them when I needed to, telling them not to put grass in their mouths, not to be mean, share, and things like that. I think being real with them just allowed them to love me more.
By the end of the second week I had learned lots of names and all the girls knew mine. They thought it was funny to call me Kim Kardashian. I didn’t find it as amusing as they did. Ha.
By the end of the month I was sold. I didn’t know I could love some children so much in such a short amount of time. That’s God for ya. Taking our hearts and filling them up even more than we thought they could be. This did not make leaving easy. All I can hope is that the kids don’t remember me, but Jesus in me, and that God will use our presence at El Shaddai for more of His glory!!
