South Africa spoiled me, filled me and exhausted me all at the same time.
Last month I worked with one of our teams at a youth summer camp in Jeffrey’s Bay, SA. For most of the month, we helped run the camp. It was your typical Christian summer camp – sessions, small groups, beach games, late night coffee breaks, noukem (the South African version of volleyball), early morning quiet times on the beach, high energy and lots of fun. I loved investing in middle school and high school kids. And I absolutely loved working with our hosts in running the camp.
In a lot of ways, last month reminded me of home – of the States. We lived on the campsite in a comfortable beach-type house, wore normal clothes, ate amazing food as we indulged in ‘braais’ (South African barbeques), conversed in English with our hosts, worked long hours and slept few, had a full schedule and had access to factory stores and beach fronts galore. I surfed a time or two, treated myself to better-than-Starbucks-for-half-the-price chai lattes, and found silence and solitude on the beach and on a farm (in the middle of the mountains). We even watched the Super Bowl in the wee hours of the morning. I had just about everything I could’ve wanted and more than I needed, and yet I found myself in an all too familiar state of exhaustion.
I asked myself how that was possible knowing full well the answer before the thought even crossed my mind – because I had been in this place before. In the process of doing for the Lord, I misappropriated my time in just being with the Lord. Maybe I’m the only one who’s ever been there before, but I doubt it. Perhaps the busy schedule contributed to my state of physical, emotional and spiritual fatigue, but I cannot blame it entirely on that. I alone lie responsible for my personal well-being, and even though I’ve learned the importance of daily and weekly rest, I failed to do that regularly last month. It has been one of my greatest struggles. We cannot be spiritually healthy while we are physically and emotionally unhealthy.
In the midst of this month we took an off weekend to a farm in the middle of nowhere, South Africa, and the Father certainly knew an intervention was needed. He also knows me well enough to know exactly what I need. He knew I needed the time and space to just be – to just be alone, to just be with him. And he gave it to me. He gave me a mountain range. He gave me silence and solitude. He gave me a breathtaking starry night. Van Gogh might have painted a masterpiece, but the Father handcrafted the universe. And gave it to me as a gift. I hate to break it to the man that pursues my heart one day, but no man will ever be able to romance me the way the King does. He’s already stolen my heart and he continues to pursue me even when I forget to pursue him. He knows my heart better than I do. He gives me grace upon grace and rest upon rest. He makes me giddy and makes me swoon. He never stops inviting me to be with him – not to do for him, but to be with him.
We’ve been in Swaziland for a little over a week now and the Father is already redeeming the time; there is much to be said for simplicity and a slower pace of life. It is possible to work and not be exhausted – if only we remember to be with him as we do for him.
