I wanted to share a little of my heart with all of you. Maybe most of you know me, but some of you reading this may not.
I have been raised in a Christian home and been surrounded by loving, Godly people my whole life. I have been truly blessed by that. I used to be, in fact, a little jaded by it- I felt like I needed a better story. I would hear people talk about how Jesus radically changed peoples lives- how He turned their path around and how their lives were on the brink of destruction and He gave them a passion and joy that they had never known before. And to be honest, I was a little jealous. Not of their previous suffering and sin- but of their significant visual and physical change. I was saved when I was 5 and baptized at age 7. I had always gone to church, always said my prayers and read my Bible. So when I gave my life to Jesus- it didn’t really change too much. I changed on the inside and began growing deeper in Christ, but my LIFE didn’t change.
I was always really shy and quiet growing up- so whenever I had an issue or a problem it was Jesus I turned to first- even over family or other people. I would pray every night, and I took my parents and grandparents and sunday school teachers seriously when they would tell me that Jesus was my best friend. That I could ask for forgiveness and He would give it instantly, that He would protect me and guide me, that if I gave my life to Him, He would give me all the desires of my heart. I believed that.
Now, I’m not perfect at all. I never have been and I never will be. I’ve made mistakes, messed things up, and ignored God’s guidance. I’ve rarely stepped out on faith, but just stuck to the straight and narrow with my head down trying not to go astray.
But God has shown me my passion. My life has been slow and steady up to this point. I’ve just been chugging along, growing closer to God, learning His ways and His desires for my life. I have eaten the meat of the Word and no longer suckle just the milk. I used to think that’s this is just who I was, that I was not meant for anything great or life-changing, just meant to live, and live for Him. Which is not a bad thing at all.
But now He is calling me up for more. Now He is saying push the boundaries farther. Become a warrior. Fight in MY name. And the only way I can do that is by trusting Him and activating that passion and trust that He has placed inside of me since DAY ONE. I could not take a leap of faith like this if I had not been preparing me for it my whole life.
I know I am going to come back from this trip with a totally different perspective. I know that this is just the jumping off point. I know that I was meant to give it all to HIM. every ounce of my life. That is why I have gone before, that is why I am going now.
