I think we give our feelings too much
ground in our lives. I’m not trying to imply that feelings are not legitimate
or that they are bad, they are good and our ability to feel is part of who God
created us to be. But feelings are not everything and they are not always an
accurate representation of reality.
Almost as soon as I stepped off the plane
into Thailand, I stepped into a dry season. Feeling close to God, hearing His
voice, living in a heart of worship, at all, has been challenging to say the
least. But God is teaching me to “live by faith and not by sight” (2
Corinthians 5:7).
that He is in constant pursuit of me and I continue to pursue other things
instead of Him. Immediately I broke down. I wept, thanking God for His unending
pursuit of me, and apologizing for my lack of pursuit in return. Since then He
has continued to teach me more and more about His love: An unconditional 1
Corinthians 13 kind of love, a love that He chooses to give to me.
That word, “choose,” implies that there is action involved. Just read 1
Corinthians 13:4-7, all of things that define love, patience, humility,
self-sacrifice, etc., are acts of will, they are choices.
Throughout the Old Testament God emphasizes
the importance of remembrance; the Israelites continue be rescued by God and
then, after a period they fall back into sin, forgetting where God brought them
from. For hundreds of years they continue to choose other things over God and
when God forgives them they come back to Him but only for a season until they
forget again. But no matter how many times they chose other god’s over Him, He
continued to pursue and choose them; He continues to choose us even when we don’t
choose Him. God has made, and continues to make, active choices, like
sacrificing His Son, to show His love and continue His pursuit of His people.
Remember?
Here is the deal, earlier this month I did
not feel much
love for God, in fact I have questioned my loving Him at all (talk about worst
missionary ever), but I know that my feelings do not define my reality. I will
choose to walk in faith that He is good. I will choose to obey and submit to
His will. I will choose to be patient and kind and humble. I will choose to
remember the truth of where He has brought me from and His promises. I will
choose to love Him “because He first loved me” (1 John 4:19).
walk in and choose love as we step into the bars this week. That we would
choose to love the women, the bar owners and managers, the men and women who
pay for a night with a bar girl, and the tourist supporting and/or playing a
role in the commercial sex industry whether ignorant or informed about the
business of Bangla Road. Pray that through our love for them they would see
Jesus and receive freedom!
Many Blessings,
Kim
