As many of you know, last month the Lord
taught me more about surrender and what that looks like. (If you didn’t see
that blog you can read it HERE.) This month the Holy Spirit has opened my eyes
to the posture of my heart in this process of surrender.
month we have decided to have a service on our own with some of the other
teams. This Sunday we came together and had a time of thanksgiving, we sang in
worship together, and then we listened to a pod-cast by Francis Chan.
Ironically, he was talking about surrender through what the Lord was prompting
in his own life. As we listened I heard a lot of truth in what he was saying.
Simply that we must be willing to lay down our whole lives, not just the parts
of our lives we are comfortable releasing control over. Lisa, Francis’ wife,
also spoke briefly about how the Lord was calling her to surrender as well. She
discussed some of Luke 14 (I encourage you to read the chapter), “…any of you
who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:33).
After the sermon was over, we all discussed
it as a group. I listened as many people shared how God was working in their
lives regarding this subject and as I did the Spirit gave me some clarity about
what this looked like in my own life. I admitted to the group that there were
still places in my life that I had not surrendered to God. Even though I know
that His plan is best and that He has my very best at heart, I have a hard time
trusting Him with my future.
Before I came on this journey, the Lord
made it very clear to me that I was not to make any plans past the 11 months of
The World Race. At the time that was 2 years away so I was great with not
making plans. It took a lot of pressure off and I just lived day to day. But
now, as I am coming close to the end of month 3 I am starting to get anxious
about the future and my natural tendency is to make a plan, a plan B, and a
plan C; but God keeps telling me no.
onto control of my future, I realized that this at least some of the reason why
God has not yet spoken to me about what is next. In His infinite grace, He
knows that my maintenance of this control is really just fear and lack of trust
in Him. I am afraid of what it will mean if I give Him total control of my
future and am not ready to face that. But in His mercy, He knows that and in
perfect timing, He will reveal what is next. Until then He will love me into a
heart of surrender.
