If you get to know me, you strangers who visit my site out of pure curiosity, you’ll get to know like those close to me know that I am 100% a quirk and that may be not in a good sense – and I am okay with that. My unusualness goes as far as me asking random people like waiters at restaurants I eat at, cashiers at Wal-Mart etc. if they were a bird/shoe/flower/color/mammal other than human …. What would they be and why?

If I were a disciple what disciple would I be?

A dear friend of mine, Kirsty Kissel, and I sat cross legged in the dimly lit Prayer room of Kilgore College’s Baptist Student Ministry building talking about us and God and our relationship with Him and others and just deep God talk, which is ALWAYS amazing, when I admitted to her how much of a Peter I am, and I don’t mean that in the good sense.

I do NOT relate to Simon Peter in the sense of him being the rock that Christ built His church on (Matthew 16), the disciple so readily telling Christ He was more than just a Rabbi but the Messiah (Hebrew), the Christ (Greek), the son of the LIVING GOD, our God (Matthew 16), who had faith enough that Christ was who He said He was that Peter walked on water to Him (Matthew 14), and one of the three disciples who got to witness Moses and Elijah coming to conference with Christ on  the Mount of Transfiguration (Matthew 17).  NO I do NOT relate to that part of Peter at all.

Instead I relate to Peter when he could not keep his foot out of his mouth, ESPECIALLY around Christ. I relate to the Peter when he began to walk on water in full faith of Christ to only get distracted by  and fear the wind and doubt if Christ was enough to keep him from drowning to drown because he doubted -if that makes sense (Matthew 14), Peter when he on many occasions asked Christ for explanations for parables and the like and Christ would look at him and say “are you so dull?”(Matthew 15), the Peter who rebuked Christ (Matthew 16), The Peter who asked God about how many times to forgive (Matthew 18),  Peter denying he would EVER deny Christ when told he would by Christ  to only deny Him three times one time even to His face (Matthew 26 & Luke 22), and especially when Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him (John 21).

However I am NOT Peter, but it’s a GREAT thing that Christ is never changing Christ. Cause like He did with Peter, Christ still meets me in my complete bubbling oafish weakness, my weak love (phileo) and LOVES (1 Corinthians 13 & 1 John 4) me and through me into LOVING (agape) Him. Even in my greatest weakness God strengthens me, and even now He amazes me in how loving He is.

So this brings me into how I came about signing up for The World Race because I came about this all from a Peter perspective (the wrong perspective).

Confession

I didn’t ask God if I should go, if He wanted me there or to move. I heard about it when I was a freshman in college not to sure I wanted to go. I has this idea and desire to spend a year in other countries getting to know people and serving them with the intention to share God with them. I told that to Kilgore’s Christian Campus Center Director, awesome guy, and he directed me to The World Race website, where I was some what excited to get the chance to do anything remotely looking like a year long mission trip. I put in my application for The World Race at the end of May and a few days after I had sent it in and when this spectacular whim turned into reality God confronted me on it. He showed me that I didn’t ask Him, and I am 100% wrong in not having asked Him. So when I was accepted I was and still astonished that God is allowing me to go. He has grown it from that initial whim into such a desire to go that the idea of not going has been throwing me into bouts of worried depression. I WANT to go. I want to meat my team, I want to see the faces of the people we’ll encounter on the trip, and I want to be 100% transformed by Christ that I resemble more of Christ than Peter BUT if by some reason I cannot go, I know that God still got something in store for me, and I will still move as if it is in His will that I go.
 

 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28