11 Helpful Tips for Getting Through a Foreign Church Service
1- sit by the interpreter. They are the only way you are going to understand the service
2- if number one is not an option sit by the kids. They provide the perfect distraction and will let you braid their hair or play with that one toy they were allowed to bring and if they don’t have hair or toys they will copy all your silly faces.
3- if your interpreter sucks. Cause that happens sometimes and either they don’t really know enough English to translate or in some of my cases they forget they are sitting around a group of Americans… This is a great time for a private bible study. Pick a book. The bible is filled with blood and guts and love and joy and horrible tragedy and great rejoicing. It’s full of scandal and entertaining stuff! Just stay away from the lists and some of the laws… Those will put you to sleep.
4- in the case that you do fall asleep make sure that you head into the service with a buddy. Be accountability partners. If you are going by yourself and you have woken up from a nice little church nap open those eyes and say “amen”. Sometimes The Lord just wants to provide you with some rest in his presence.
5- if you forget your bible… Which you shouldn’t because you wouldn’t go on a date with a guy, without the guy. You wouldn’t go into battle without your weapon. You need your sword. You need to bring yo bible to church. Anyways! If you forget it… This is a lovely opportunity to go through a list of every single person that you know and pray for them. Keep your eyes open though… We don’t want any disciples in Gethsemane action.
6- if you are a little ADHD and you have skipped through some of these quickly try picking off all your nail polish. It takes time and moving from nail to nail is kinda entertaining.
7- if there is a children’s service halfway through and the kids leave get up and go with them. If you weren’t invited… Who cares?! I’m sure they will welcome you.
8- a few less holy options would be to pass notes to a fellow teammate
9-play hangman
10-find a word that sounds like an English word in what the speaker is saying and every time he says it snap your fingers.
11- if you’ve done all these things and still the service isn’t over, consider making a list. You will of course need paper and a writing utensil for this though. Make a thankful list, make a list for what The Lord is doing in your life, make a grocery list, make a list for helpful tips for making it through a church service… Etc.
