One of the cool things about the Race is that not only do you get to serve the Kingdom of God, but you also grow in the process. Now, as a disclaimer, I’m only in Month 3 so I’m sure there’s a lot more growth to come, but I just wanted to share with you a realization that I’ve had in the recent weeks.
There’s an old saying that you were told as a kid, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Although said with good intentions in an effort to comfort a child who has been affected by the words of others, this statement misses the point. Words hurt. They cut to the core. Lies can be said to us that we carry with us the rest of our lives. Children who are told that they are worthless will often act according to that belief for much of their lives. Personally, I have been affected by what others have said about me. Growing up, I had a lot of people mock me and call me names. Sadly, I internalized those statements and they defined so many of my actions and I acted out of the assumptions that those words were true. When people told me that I was weird, I assumed it was correct and had a hard time thinking otherwise. Even to this day, I am still breaking free of some of the things that were spoken to me.
As I’ve been reflecting how these words have hurt me, God asked me the question, “How are your words affecting others? Are you someone who builds up or tears down with the power of my speech?” It was a sobering question for me. Through it, I came to realize that my words were not always life-giving.
It never ceases to amaze me about the power of our words and what our tongues pour forth. Saint James says, “With it [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” (James 3:9-10) How can I, in my life, say “God bless you” and yet still tear people down with my words? It’s pure hypocrisy and something that I’m learning to correct in my life.
This doesn’t just mean not tearing people down with my words. I also learned through the process that there is also hurt in not speaking when I should. Often times I will try to take the easy way out and not say anything at all – either out of laziness or fear of confrontation. This does not fix the problem. There have been so many times in history where evil has flourished because the righteous kept silent out of fear or complacency. God has given me a mouth to speak and words to say.
And by the way, a quick side note is that having words that build up does not mean just saying nice things all the time. Sometimes, the best form of love is to give people constructive criticism and pointing out areas in their life where they are not living up to what God has called them to. However, this must always be done in love and not out of a wish to demonstrate one’s own superiority. It’s important to realize that because we all know people in our lives who love to criticize not out of love but just to make themselves feel better. That’s not the type of love that Jesus calls us to.
Being on the Race, I’ve been learning to apply this to my life. It’s amazing how a kind word can make a person’s day or bring a smile to a child’s face. As Paul said, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6) I’m learning to be a vessel of encouragement and life to the people around me, and through it, I’ve been so blessed.
This is such a crucial lesson because I myself have seen the power of words spoken to me. When I was younger, many of my peers put me down verbally and made me feel small and insignificant. Recently, though, God has given me friends who have encouraged me, challenged me, and called out strengths in my life. They’re not afraid to confront me when there is junk in my life but they always do it out of love. Now I’m learning how to be someone who speaks in love to others. It’s such a great lesson to learn and it’s something that has challenged me to grow and to put my pride and selfishness aside for the sake of others.
P.S. I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on how my fundraising is going. So far, I’ve been able to raise over $10,000! Thanks so much for everyone who has so graciously supported me. You guys are so awesome! Because of your generosity, I only need $1,000 to reach my next deadline by December 1st. If you feel led to give, there is a link on the left side of this blog called Support Me! Thanks in advance and as a token of my appreciation, here is a picture of me drinking iced coffee out of a glass boot.
