Go.
A word filled with excitement, adventure, and obedience. A word that is easy and fun to follow for those of us who love these three things. But what happens when God says to stay?
“STAY”.
The word hit me like a bag of bricks, unexpectedly, as I walked home with Scarleth from the orphanage one day in Honduras.
Lord, what does that even mean?
Could you really be saying to stay here in Honduras?
Would you really change my whole plan for being on the race this year?
My questions fired off as I tried to make sense of the word: “STAY”.
Stay when?
Stay where?
Stay how?
It was the day we found out that the orphanage was being closed down. The sponsors could no longer fund it and all of the children were being relocated.
So maybe “stay” meant staying in Honduras right then and there and fighting for them. The thought of that terrified me. It would be a decision made only on faith in God´s voice. No one else would understand. For the first time though, my reaction wasn´t to seek opinions. It was to press in to God more, to lean so heavily on Him that I was helpless in making the decision apart from Him.
I asked for God to give me an answer in a way that was special between Him and me. A way that only He would know how to speak to me.
As we walked back to the house one day, God started showing me that maybe I was only seeing the first dimension. That STAY had more meaning than a physical decision to not move. I asked one of my teammates, Miranda, what it really meant to be stayed on something.
¨¨It´s like a sailor going towards a lighthouse. He is stayed in that direction no matter what. He sees the light flash by and is reminded every time that He is going the right way. No matter if it is dark, stormy, or hard, He knows. He has seen the light and knows where He´s headed, and won´t give up hope.
It hit me that this is what I want more than anything. To be stayed on Christ, on the one I love, in such a way that I never loose hope in what He has promised to me.
So what happens when His voice calling me to stay actually means to keep going, to leave the country I love, to say goodbye to Honduras, and to continue on the World Race?
Beauty is awakened by romance. And being awakened by romance makes you want to stay. Not stay in a location, but stay in the presence of the one you love. To stay in the presence of The Lord. To stay in the mindset of submitting to him in obedience, and watching the fruits produced by that.
This country has more trees than I can count. And with every single one of them, God whispers sweet confirmation of His presence, and of the way he meets with me here. These trees were planted decades ago, but they stand strong and beautiful even though I had no idea they were here growing. It’s the same with Gods calling on my life to Honduras. He started something here and knew he would bring me back here. I didn’t know my whole life that God was planting seeds in me and growing me to do His work here. But I see that so clearly now. I see the trees and I know. I look at how God has prepared me and I know. I see his steady confirmation and feel his steady peace every day in countless situations and I know.
But beyond knowing my calling, I know my savior. I know the bigger picture. More than anything, what i want, what i crave, what I cry out for, is Gods will to be done. For his kingdom to come here on earth. And when I look at how far away I may be from coming back home, I can rest In looking at how far I’ve come. God doesn’t begin anything that he doesn’t finish.
He began a work in me on the race that I believe in faith that he is calling me to finish first.
I can step back and see the lighthouse he has set out in front of me and as much as I want to-and could-just jump out of the boat and try to swim to shore, that’s not what God is saying to do. He is saying to stay, just stay in the boat as He carries me safe to the lighthouse he established long ago.
His call on my life is so steady. The shore won’t vanish. And I can’t speed up the boat by sticking a motor on the back of it. Even if the ocean gets a little crazy, I know God is the one carrying my boat straight to the lighthouse my eyes are fixed on.
Through it all, my eyes are fixed on the light set before me. Jesus alone is that steady light. And because of that I have steady peace in following after it, chasing after it, enduring storm waters because of it. And that faith in my never changing light and in knowing what he has established before me, gives me the courage to stay. Even if staying in the boat means going on.
What God has done and spoken to me this month doesn’t change because I go to another country! So I’m not overwhelmed with sadness or with a crazy excitement for Guatemala. I just have peace. Because the God who is doing all these cool things is my best friend and savior all at the same time.
Come on my soul! Look at what God has done! Everything small and big has pointed to His faithfulness this month! His faithfulness shows me I am found by him, and these full circle moments I’ve experienced this month show me that God is up to something big- and that he’s inviting me to be a part of that!
The beautiful pine tree covered mountains
The countless horses everywhere you look
The coffee shops on every corner, all serving Chai 😉
The friendships
Our host, David, who went to CFNI in Dallas Texas
Our other host, Scarlet, who has become one of my best friends
Getting to paint a giant mural of a tree on the outside of a school
All of these and countless more blessings remind me that my best friend is walking through life with me. That He is helping me with every single decision I make. That if my heart is stayed on Him, He will be with me and He has awesome things waiting for me. “Seek my face and I will give you gifts.”
Isaiah 26:3
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because He trusts in you.”
