*I was going to shorten, but the whole passage needs to be quoted. SO GOOD!! 🙂
Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Worry. Something expressed in so many different ways, but always resulting in unnecessary bondage. Self imposed bondage!
A few weeks ago, I started thinking for the first time about getting my gear for the trip. I realized that everyone seemed to have theirs all ready to go, and I hadn’t even looked into it. I sat down that night after camping with friends for the weekend and started looking in to a few things. My mom recommended that I make an REI registry so that friends or family could purchase things from it for graduation or for my birthday. “Mom, that’s a brilliant idea!”
So I began making a registry. Apparently there is lot more to decide between then just picking which color sleeping bag you want for a trip like this! I was so confused! So many numbers! So many brands! So many colors!
Feeling a bit lost… I finally came up with a list, totaling over $1,000. The week before I had felt like the Lord was telling me to send all the money I’d received through fund raising to AIM- meaning none of it could be used for my gear.
“Okay, Lord! You know what I need when I need it before I need it! Here ya go!”
So I had no funds left to go towards this gear. I felt so anxious that whole evening, so I sent the list to my mom and asked her not to send it out to anyone just yet because I just felt like I was taking something into my own hands for the first time since fundraising. I had to take a huge step back.
“God, what am I doing! You’ve BLOWN ME AWAY this semester with your faithfulness. Why am I fighting my own way in this?”
Well a couple months back, one of my monthly supporters (shout out Kyle and Beth Davis! LOVE Y’ALL, FAMILY!) had mentioned that she had a friend who worked with Kelty and could maybe get me a discount on a pack of some sort. I had started asking her if she had heard from him so that I could start making decisions on gear, but she didn’t have an answer yet. I really started thinking…
“Well, she’s really busy and I bet her friend is too. I bet they just forgot. No big deal, I’ll make this REI registry!”
The next day.
I get an email from Beth (and a very excited voicemail). She had sent me an email conversation that had been taking place, beginning with her initial email to her friend who worked for Kelty. In that email, she had sent my support letter, pictures, and her own personal email about my need and how much I meant to her family and how much she saw the Lord working in me. Her friend said he would see what could be done, and forwarded the email on to a girl with the same name as me, also connected to the company *Kerry Beth! She offered to pay for my equipment! And then sent the email along! On and on it went until the CEO gets this email, reads all of it that has been going on, and offers to FULLY SPONSOR all my gear for the trip! Not only that! But he looked at all the details of the trip in these emails and my letter, and typed out a list of what gear I would need specifically, why I would need it, and what models/makes of Kelty gear would suite me best! He chose all perfect gear- in my favorite colors! Now THAT’S God!
Over $1,500 worth of perfect gear! The tent, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, backpack, sleeping bag liner, waterproof coverings, daypack… everything.
He helps us even in our doubt!
He makes decisions for our best interest even when we are wavering and unstable!
He takes our mustard seed of faith and makes GARDENS of faithfulness!
So. Slight walk of shame, I went back to my REI registry and took everything off that God had so faithfully provided. What was left on that list?
A $8 teal titanium spork (which I don’t even need, I just wanted!)
And a headlamp (mine was only $1 and was pretty pathetic :p )
My parents were blown away. This was the one area we had agreed on to let them help in financially, and God was like “Nope! Not even this, I will provide this too!” My parents were like “Is God going to let us pay for anything!?”
“Mom and dad, y’all better hurry and get me that spork before God provides it too!”
In the midst of all of this, my gear hadn’t arrived in time for training camp last week in Georgia. I didn’t start packing or look at the list until the night before and that’s when I realized I didn’t have any of the gear we were supposed to bring! I started to worry about all the details and God started giving me the word simplicity. He was just reminding me that He knows all my needs, even before I do. And that this trip, training camp, the World Race, all of it, is about the PEOPLE. No wonder God says not to worry about all the minute details- His heart is always for people. In every situation.
So I got out my little backpack for school and began packing up a few tshirts, shorts, and a few other small necessities- including my hammock for sleeping in and a blanket! With all my outer backpack buckles occupied with chacos, my blanket, a water bottle, and whatever else, I was quite the site when wobbling onto the plane I’m sure! I got caught up talking to a girl named Ritz (like the crackers!!) in security when I heard over the loud speaker “Kerry Kennedy, your flight is about to leave please report to the gate…”
“That’s me!! See you later Ritz!”
I started down the aisle to the open seat in the far back corner of the plane, literally cracking up the entire walk back! I could NOT stop laughing. Partially with just JOY that I was finally going to meet my team that God so intricately set up! But also because of how this clunky pack probably looked on my back. I feel like I hit someone with something that was dangling off my pack with every step! By the time I got to the back, I think I had smiled and laughed with almost every row of people on that plane!
I talked with the people around me, a chinese couple and a girl studying dentistry. The chinese couple was SO fun to talk with! I had packed a lunch for the plane consisting of a bunch of fresh produce from my dad’s garden! I had spinach, carrots, cucumber, bell peppers, apples, and banana chips. 🙂
Having my seat right next to the bathroom at the back of the plane- I was so pumped up about the opportunity to talk to all the bathroom wanderers! Each time someone would come out of the bathroom, I would slice them a piece of cucumber to try! Everyone loved it, and by the end of the flight it felt like I had fed the whole plane with my fresh goodie bag lunch! Talk about the bread and fish!
The Asian couple could not stop laughing as every 10 minutes I would pull out a different vegetable to share! They loved trying it all, and then let me try all of their Asian snacks they had packed!
Training camp: it was AWESOME. What do I say besides that!?
I felt so immediately loved. I started crying while getting my packet, and the guys at registration seemed pretty confused! But it was like the Lord giving me the biggest hug of all time: saying “well done my good and faithful servant! Welcome to the promised land!!” And the joy that comes with my Father’s voice and approval in that way- produces so much joy that my body doesn’t know what to do except leak tears!
Like- completely Free! Do we get that! We are completely free to live abundantly! To live as victorious conquerors alongside the Lord! Let that assurance fill you to so much joy that you leak tears all the time too! This joy and hope brings light and life to every hopeless heart and circumstance!
When I got to camp, I found so quickly that God was right. It was about the people. Not what gear or clothes I had. Not what I eat or drink or wear.
He used that circumstance to reintroduce me again to community and my need for people. And that was a hard thing for Him to break into again! Everytime I would try and self-protect, I would turn around to find one of my teammates had seen my need and met it.
The first night, it was raining. I slept in a tent with Rachel (my first World Race roomie! 🙂 ) She offered her pillow, cleared a place for me to sleep, and was just so open.
The second, my blanket was soaked. I stayed in a tent with Becca and our team leader said he would let me use his sleeping bag. I couldn’t find him that night though and was just going to get in the tent without it and try to wear lots of layers. When I came back to the tent, the sleeping bag was in there already!
The next night, I got to share a mummy sleeping bag with Amanda! It was SO COZY!
The next night, I came back to my hammock to brave it up for the night, and Paul had already laid out his sleeping bag inside of my hammock to use for the night! I almost cried. SO much blessing and love from my teammates!
Basically, just community. Something that has become so foreign to me. But that God is rocking my world with through this whole process. It is beautiful!
Here is my team!!!
Even if I were to cease moving by the Spirit. Even if I rest for a moment. Even if I get caught in my self. God doesn’t stop moving. And that brings peace like a river. That I don’t have to be changing the world every moment of every day by accomplishing these earth-shattering victory moments, because GOD is always moving. Even when I’m sleeping, He is at work in people’s hearts. He is enough, I am not.
BUT because of that… I WANT to be a passionate follower of His! Actively involved with what He is doing in people every moment! Drawing near to His heart in humility first and waiting to take a step until He says to- in that place I find that I am a conqueror and coheir with Christ. Just like He says I am. In that place, I can take every step with confidence because God Himself said to take it. In that place I find both rest and action. I find passion like the oceans. Passion for the lost that knows no limits. Passion for the Lord that doesn’t have brakes or stop signs, but that TRUSTS without borders.
And this combination of peace like a river and passion like an ocean, makes me who I am- alive and steadfast in Christ.
🙂
Colossians 1:11
We are praying, too, that you will be filled with His mighty, glorious strength so that you can keep going… always FULL of the JOY of the Lord!
