1 Peter 5:5 “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility towards one another, because ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble’.”
True humility- expressing complete confidence in God’s ability to fulfill His purpose in our lives. Humility seems to be the first step, the first act in showing love.
I have no words. Just, speechless at what God has done in my family! He took confusion, fear, and timidity, and replaced it with power, love, and peace.
Surrogacy. What is it? It’s part of my testimony. It’s how God chose to get me here. And regardless of what I was convinced of for so long, I now see that this was a huge act of love from my dad. That he wanted a daughter that badly that he would do whatever it took.
That God wanted me on this earth so badly that he placed me inside of a wonderful woman named Brenda, just for the specific purpose of having me. Carrying me for 9 months plus one day. For 18 years I had no idea she existed, and then in God’s perfect timing I found out and then got to meet her. To look back on the last few years even- GOD was still working. So faithfully. Creating the perfect puzzle by placing one piece at a time where it belonged. But this past week, we all started to see the picture he’s been creating in our family. The pieces finally made sense.
Last week, Brenda flew in for my graduation. The whole week before I had been tossing around plans in my head, and on the drive to the airport I became aware of how Unprepared I really was to present this “perfect Kerry” to her. As I prayed on the drive, God just reassured my heart over and over that He was with me and would be the plan-maker! After trying to venture off to a Starbucks on the drive there and failing miserably at finding it, I just went on to the airport (and got lost 3 or 4 times in trying to find my way through Houston!). Right after I got her…she said “Hey I need a coffee! Let’s find a Starbucks!”
Every-single-time I try to pry my own way and jump ahead, God shows me that HE KNOWS what we need, what we want, and how to work things together for our good! In the big things and in the small!
So off to the nearest Starbucks we go! We noticed the awesome new cup sleeves that have fun Oprah Winfrey quotes on them, so we borrowed the entire basket and took it over to a table to go through them all and pick our favorites! Each one tied in some way to scripture though! So what do crazy Brenda and Kerry do? We got out our pens and Bible apps and started writing the Bible verses that went along with that quote onto the sleeves! It was a BLAST! We both talk to strangers. Everyone. All the time. So.. we got to talking to this guy named Mike who is a pilot! We ended up just feeding off of each other and sharing our entire crazy family story with him, and there was so much power in TOGETHER bringing to light what had been silenced in both of us for so long- robbing us of the victory Christ has given us in every situation!
Brenda and I realized in that moment that neither one of us were meant to be silenced, and our friendship was never meant to be hidden. God had a purpose the whole time. Our whole lives, he knew when I needed to know about Brenda, and He knew when Brenda needed to reconnect with me. In that moment in Starbucks, I think we both realized how PRESENT God was in our situation, how much he was blessing our new found relationship, and how much of a testimony He has entrusted to both of us to share with the world! We finally picked our favorites, and asked Mike if he wanted to just sit with us and talk for a while! He wasn’t really doing anything, so he stayed and listened and talked with us while we looked up verses and talked about all God was showing us! The cup he had chosen was “Your life is big, keep reaching” so we stole it off his cup, added some scripture, and were just able to encourage Him that nothing in his past was wasted but that God really does work every detail together for good. It was hard to pick just one, but these are the ones we settled on based on what God was showing us personally:
Mike at the top, then Brenda’s in the middle, and mine on the bottom!
God showed me so clearly that day that I DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT.
Because He is! He makes me whole with his grace- a place that I can rest secure and confident in.
Oprah also said “No experience is ever wasted, Everything has meaning.” I think the Lord has something to say about this also… Nothing in our past is wasted! God is like a MASTER-RECYCLER!
That first night, God orchestrated what I tried so hard to plan myself in a much better way than I ever could have. We got to go salsa dancing with two friends who God has brought together in an incredible way in the last month or so! It was such a party, making the dance floor our own, meeting people, and even dancing with some girls from Colombia, Mexico, and Haiti! I got to tell them about my trip and how excited I am to dance in Central America this summer!
The next morning, our plans were changed due to a rain storm. Meaning Brenda wouldn’t be able to come out to the Ranch to meet my co-workers or see the place 🙁
Seeing how I still needed to get a mother’s day gift for my mom and a graduation dress, we ventured off to the mall. We had so much fun shopping, found the perfect dress, AND ran into 3 of my best girl friends who were also picking out PJ’s for their moms! Not only that, but we then ran into my Kitchen manager from still creek! God just brought everyone to us that i thought was out of reach for Brenda to meet!
Then… I bought a mug. Or 6.
They are tea-steeping mugs with little lids! And each one had a verse on it SO specific to what God is showing me right now!
The next thing was Hobby Lobby. So God gave me this idea of making a fruit hat on top of my graduation cap because He is showing me so much right now about bearing GOOD FRUIT! And letting that Fruit go as it comes- clinging to nothing but your roots themselves (the Lord).
Now normally, when I have cool ideas, I can’t quite follow through with them. I just fail a lot or give up sometimes! So I began to pray “Lord, you’ve given me this beautiful picture to share and this fun idea. I need your help, seriously! Please just allow this to somehow work out so that I can just glorify you with it!”
We just went for it! Sitting on the floor of Hobby Lobby trying to balance all the different fruit and picture how they would look and fit together. I gathered up what we decided might work, picked a big red flower (thanks to that sweet man’s wife who came over and clarified that I picked a good one!).
So in another effort to be perfect, I set to work making dinner for Brenda and I. after getting everything in it’s perfect place, I went in to tell her and she said “Oh yeah! Why don’t we just have a picnic! Bring it in here!”
I LOVE PICNICS
Like, top 3 favorite things to do- EVER!
So I ran and got my picnic basket and brought our meal onto a blanket on the ground! Still having things fairly set up, I looked over to see Brenda… “I’m just eating the salad with my hands hope you don’t mind just being myself!”
HEY THAT’S WHAT I DO! Forget the forks! Haha!
And the fruit hat- it came together so perfectly! I couldn’t stop squealing for joy as I worked diligently on it while reflecting on everything God has shown me about fruit! The final product:
It was such a party!! To explain to people how God has set me free to be fruit, to be fruitful, and to let fruit go as it comes. It also made a good landmark for those around me… “Mom, I’m right next to the cornocopia.” 
I can’t explain the joy and peace God filled this weekend with. Every decision. Every moment. Walking (or salsa-dancing, in my case) across that stage and getting that degree brought a realization that I had done it. I honored my parent’s wishes and went to college. Got a degree. Learned a ton. Got to do research. Studied the things I love and learned a work ethic of diligence. I was refined through academics and even more so, circumstances.
All of that was accomplished, and God is now releasing me to do what I have always been so passionate about. In a perfectly constructed by Him trip called the World Race. Too perfect for words but that I would never have planned myself. In timing that is too perfect for words. I honored my Jesus, my parents, and was refined through the wilderness. NOW… God is introducing me to the long awaited but long forgotten land of milk and honey.
1 Corinthians 2:9 ” “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
And my heart has never trusted Him more.
He was faithful with those years of confusion.
And those years that I begged and begged God to give me “something interesting” in my testimony, because I felt so polished and boring. WELL. He heard. And He acted. And I am so thankful that He did, I can’t help but laugh every time I think about it.
On Friday, I was blessed with possibly the BEST surprise I’ve ever had. As I was giving Brenda a tour of the Farmhouse with my family, I opened a door to see my sister Kristen!!! AHHHHH! She flew in for my graduation as a surprise!! I cannot express the joy in her coming. Such an act of love. It meant so much more than just for graduation, but having her there with Brenda and with our parents was the most joyful thing I could have ever asked for. It showed me love and acceptance- an affirmation I needed from her.
So much peace.
So much love.
So much joy.
So much freedom in my family.
The night of graduation when we all got back to Round Rock for the night, I ran over some extra cupcakes to our neighbors who were having a backyard BBQ for our street. It was so special and wonderful to meet all those people who lived around me back home and really talk with them- sharing about my family, trip, and all that God has been doing this semester in my life. They were so encouraged and so was I to finally talk to them! {Only to find out today that one couple is also going to Georgia this Saturday like I am for training camp!} So much connection, freedom, joy, and blessing! I shared with them how what they are doing is exactly what my prayer has been for my parents, to have good friendships around them where they feel seen and loved all the time- learning and growing with those around them. God is doing just that!
Mother’s Day- We all (Mom, Dad, me, Kristen, and Brenda) went to church together. The sermon WOW was on baby Moses! His mom had to release him just after being born and send him down the river. Pharaoh’s daughter then found him and raised him! I couldn’t keep my jaw from dropping as I sat with my surrogate mother, who released me a day after I was born, and I was taken in by my mom! Only to realize later that the “letting go” idea also applied to my dad and my sister as well. God just spoke-loud and clear- to my family that day. I could not stop smiling and laughing at all of it!
God is surely alive!
My mom is SERIOUSLY- the.best.mom.ever. No question. She’s unbelievable and incredible! She has quickly become one of my best friends. And the odd thing is I’m a ton like her as well. So I get the honor of being “like” two incredible women who are SO different yet each SO wonderful!
But Brenda is an entirely different sort of friend. It’s the strangest but coolest connection I’ve ever experienced. We turn around and are doing the same thing; we both stand like a flamingo while standing and doing dishes; we both eat salad with our hands; we both dance around the kitchen and sprawl out on the floor; both make best friends everywhere we go because we just connect with people. There’s such assurance is just being like someone. In fact, I woke up Friday morning with that word- likeness- pounding on my heart. God finally revealed to me to share that with my hair stylist later that day, how when we are Born of God we have a likeness with Him. Just like I do with Brenda, even having never spent time with her.
There’s just a likeness when you are of someone. When you are born from someone.
And the more you spend time with God, the more assured you become in your identity, your uniqueness, and your likeness to Him.
All five of us on Sunday: talking, laughing; openly sharing the experience of it all with one another. How everything came to be, and what has taken place since then in shaping our lives.
It’s like God brought humility, gentleness, compassion, and truth to each of us individually before releasing us to communicate so openly with each other.
One thing we ALL agree on now- were all finally on the same page. Because of order God brought to confusion.
We ALL finally see that God is fighting for us as a family.
That he is blessing us with peace from every angle.
Because that’s what He does in the light! He brings abundant joy, peace, and hope!!
Never to be darkened again.
1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
And that He has. 🙂
IN LOVE WITH MY SAVIOR
and my family. Which is anything but ordinary.
