I’m offended by a lot of things, God. Intolerance, xenophobia, child abuse, animal cruelty…people who fart in elevators. All of those really grind my gears. You know [who] else does? You.
You heard me. You offend me, God. But maybe that’s okay with you? Maybe that's not okay for you?
So why do I find myself having moments where I’m completely pissed at you if I know it’s never going to result into a blessing?
You know where my life was. Nobody was handing out roadmaps for the road less traveled than me. I was driving on it with the windows down living an angry life [mostly at you]. Nothing made sense. You let all my friends and family who were simply “livin’ the dream” be blessed while I was just doing my best to stay afloat.
Newsflash: I sucked at it.
When I was standing face to face with walls coming down on top of me – why weren’t you there to pull me out? Hell…you couldn't even a give me a "it'll be okay" could you? I wanted you to pick up your pen and finish what you started twenty something years ago.
It didn’t happen.
So I waited on you to move…
Every day that went by I found myself becoming more upset and turned off by you. I felt cheated. Cheated that I spent all those years “following” you and I couldn’t get them back. Everybody around me was getting theirs, why wasn’t I? Sure, you let me have a job where I didn’t have to work weekends, a girlfriend I was absolutely crazy about, and I even managed to fix the slice in my golf swing. With all the things you let me have, why was I still constantly feeling like a glass of un-sweet tea?
Here I was carrying around secrets and lies, crawling deeper and deeper into darkness, having selfish motives and ignoring truth and you were nowhere to be found. What was up with that? Why was I living a life in the shadow of the cross rather than living in the light of your resurrection?
You know the rest of the story…after a good while, I gave up. I waved the white flag. If you can't beat em, join em.
I remember crying myself to sleep and in my heart screaming, “God – here I am with my arms open wide, so why don’t you come inside again and make me new…make me true. God, can’t you just make me like you?”
You also showed me that there may be some times where I could/llikely would be offended by you…
- Times of me suffering [2 Timothy 3:12]
- Times where your ways are higher than mine [Isaiah 55:8-9]
- Times when your clock ticks differently than my own [Ephesians 2:10]
In the middle of those times where I would normally be offended, you showed me I need to live a life like John the Baptist. He was in jail waiting to be beheaded while you were out doing all these miracles. What’d you do instead of going all SEAL Team 6 and busting him out? You sent a message, via disciples, relaying the miracles you were doing. Ouch. You also told him not to be offended [Luke 7:23].
How was it so easy for John to not be offended? Why wasn’t John turned off by you?
Probably had something to do with him realizing it would’ve been offensive to you to be offended at the legit things you were off doing. I definitely missed that memo for a while. I guess it's easier said than done, right Big Guy?
So here I am standing at a crossroads yet again. Friends and family being blessed beyond belief and me attempting to stay afloat once more. I can go left…or try going with you to the right. Maybe I'll try your path and make a few promises to you along the way?
I promise to be unwilling to waste time dwelling on a perceived offense which Satan wants to blow out of proportion to keep me distracted from what really matters – you. I promise to be okay with suffering and having your clock tick differently than mine. I promise that I'll not get upset when good things that others deserve actually happen. I promise to quit being offended by people farting in elevators…but more importantly, I promise to quit being offended by you.
