When God ask us to do something he isn’t asking for our permission he is asking for our obedience
I have blindly walked in faith and obedience left everything I know, believing that what I am doing is what is right. I have had nothing but peace in that decision, yet there are those inevitable feelings of that terrible 8 letter word
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H O M E S I C K
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Now, I would be lying if I said that I haven’t missed home this year, that I don’t miss the way the rain falls in the spring or just how simply beautiful the mountains look at dawn. The way at any given point I can drive to the water and be in awe or the ability to just sit in the presence of my parents and talk about my life and mindlessly jumping in the car and adventuring with my closest friends. I miss them deeply, I miss it all.
I find it so interesting how I can be so travel oriented and want so badly to explore and meet new people yet I hate being away from my family and friends. I have loved getting to see so many countries and meeting so many people who have impacted me and who I already miss. There are many times that I have teared up thinking about leaving each country knowing I may never see them again in this life. I wouldn’t change it, I know that pouring into others, loving them, and trying to be there for them is what I have been called to do. That may lead me a few miles away from those I love deeply or thousands of miles away.
The Lord has created each of us so differently, I know there are people on this trip who haven’t really missed home at all. I don’t believe it’s because they don’t love home, it’s just we were all created differently and I was made for deep relationship with my family and friends! It’s a blessing to even say I have a group of people that I get to call my family who genuinely love me, that is a gift! I was given a gift by the Lord, I can be nothing but grateful to miss them and that it hurts to be far from them, a heart that is broken is a heart that is well loved and it shows I value them.
Funny enough I can say the same exact thing about this trip, I have had an insane blessing to travel the world! Like how crazy to think that when I get home I will have traveled to 18 different countries by the age of 24! How can I not see that as a huge gift and be overwhelmed with gratitude!
At the end of the day it really is what it is. I would rather walk away from this trip knowing that I tried my best to enjoy every moment, than to look back on my life and be disappointed that I took for granted this gift. Gratefully, the mountains and family that I love will still be there, and when I do return in less than 2 months, I want to know that I made the most of every moment; that I tried to love every person I met and that I really enjoyed this time. I choose joy. I choose to know that I am loved no matter where I am. I chose to enjoy this life that I have been gifted despite the hardship.
