i have been trying for weeks to figure out different things to put on here. different moments to highlight. different moments to tell you about and the ways God has been moving, but they don’t come out quite as easy as i have thought. so, instead… i have been silent. silent with you guys. but there is so much. so much to let you know about. so i am going to try to give you a small update. because God deserves crazy amounts of glory for it all.
its month 4 of the race. we are in guatemala in the mountains. its absolutely beautiful. i live in a small concrete house with my teammates. it has a tin roof and the rain makes it sound magical. we are visiting widows every day. we do several feeding programs throughout the week. i have fallen in love with a sweet boy named juan carlos who gives me a toothless grin when he sees me. guatemala is absolutely beautiful.
honduras was one of the most difficult months of the race so far. but not just of the race, of my personal walk with the Lord. it required a lot of prayer, holding of the tongue, handing over frustrations and a lot of moments when i wanted to defend myself but knew God would get the glory if i chose to let His spirit work and not my flesh.
i realized i ran to a lot of other things before i would run to the lord for comfort. as if perfection in and of itself wasn’t where i needed to run. a squad leader pointed that out to me and since that has been in the light, it has dramatically changed my walk with him. its just been weeks too. its amazing. he really is all we need.
i have struggled with my weight on the race so much. then recently i realized it really was a struggle with my worth. because sure, i have gained weight on this tortilla-rice-carb eating-sugar high-bread galore race of a thing, but i also have gained truth, life, perspective, peace, grace, forgiveness, abundance, views, relationships, encouragement, growth, and so much more. i can, and will, gain a few pounds to get this adventure.
the race hasn’t necessarily been fun for me. i don’t mean that in a sad or dark way. it just hasn’t been what i thought it was. and sure, they tell you before we leave to not have expectations but somehow in all our flesh we think of how it might go. i didn’t have anything really set on what i thought it was going to be–except that i thought it would be more fun. but i have realized that having fun and having joy aren’t the same thing. and this, its been joyful. its been Jesus. its been God. its been necessary and growing.
my team is beautiful. its 6 different girls with 6 different lives meshed together for a time such as this. its been incredible and i am so thankful for life with them. it hasn’t always been easy but its been absolutely beautiful. i wouldn’t change this for anything. so thankful. chrish, ash, meg, kaps and rena– i love you all dearly.
the amount of time i can go without a shower has been tested this month as we are living in the mountains and it actually gets cold. its been beautiful because in the other countries i sweated like i never knew possible. so, the idea that i don’t even sweat up here on this mountain is glorious. you can judge me for the time between the showers, its okay. but my team still loves me 🙂
i miss home more than i ever thought possible. i watch videos of my nieces and nephews and praise God that he allowed me to be their aunt. i think about my sisters and their love every day. i can’t believe i am blessed to do life with them. its insane. my parents blow my mind even more now than before i left.
i ask God a lot why He let me be born in America. its not perfect, but these places i have seen have broken me. we have opportunities that these sweet people never can dream of- just because of the country we are from. its humbling to say the least.
i dream about being home and actually being obedient to what the holy spirit has for me. i am from a precious place with precious people, and i didn’t show them the face of Christ for many years, but now–i can’t wait to do that.
sometimes that desire makes it hard to stay present and i have to rely on God to walk with me through these streets because He has me here for a reason and I don’t want to deny Him that. Staying present isn’t as easy as someone would think. it takes a lot of effort.
i daily have to run to His feet and be renewed by Him. its something we all need, but desperation makes it noticeable. but you don’t always have to be there to get filled up. go daily so the desperation doesn’t sneak in. he is incredible and such a giving God. Ask Him.
i have learned to ask for the big things. those impossible things. i mean, he did raise Jesus from the dead–impossible is His territory. And if I can think it, then it’s not too big for Him. His thoughts are higher than mine anyway. So if my little brain can come up with a question to ask, His sovereignty already has seen it to its full completion.
i don’t have a desire to have a phone with a data plan when i get back to the states. its just unnecessary and distracting. i mean, i love the internet. i love it so much that i am fasting from it this month. but, do i really need to always have the internet at my disposal? i mean, by the time i return, i will have gone 11 months without it–and i will have survived. calling and texting is enough. by far. probably even too much. heres to a not expensive phone bill.
i am planning on going to go to school when i return for Sign Language Interpreting and i can’t wait. i think about it all the time and praise God for bringing so many things full circle. it makes sense that this is something i would do. he is going to use it in a lot of ways. i have such sweet visions and desires for what it will do for His kingdom. a joy that is exploding!
i gave up cokes (all kinds) a couple weeks ago. i had done that for 8 months before the race but got sick on the very first plan ride and resorted back to my sweet friend, ginger ale, and fell trap to the fizz again. however, that was let go of the last 2 weeks. heres to headaches and cranky moments 🙂
i have been wearing the same outfits for 4 months now and its absolutely insane. i feel like all my pictures look like i did the same thing on the same day because the outfits are the exact same. haha. just like i left one day and went to 4 different countries while wearing the same outfit 🙂
i know this is all random, but its a little bit of my life. its a little bit of what God is doing. He is so huge, guys. dive into Him and let Him move in your life. Stop following your heart and start following Him. its a beautiful journey.
all these things that “i” have been able to do, see, learn, etc. is because of the ultimate I AM. He is fantastic. he is moving. he is the reason I have become anything.
love you all so much.
kendra
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i am still in need of about $3500 dollars to complete the Race. if you have a desire to donate financially you can do that by clicking the SUPPORT ME link at the top of the page or on the left side.
and also, i love hearing from y’all. so email me at [email protected] or iMessage me with the same email address. i love you all.
