It's month 5 already! It's been a tough journey. Something I actually prayed for it to be and for months now I have struggled tremendously with being content. Before leaving the United States I constantly looked forward to leaving for the race. Then, I get here and also, I look forward to leaving.
Does that sound crazy to you? I am traveling the world sharing Jesus and I'm ready to go home? It's sounds crazy to me. But, then I think. I shouldn't expect anything but that.
Here I am ready to preach, ready to bring the kingdom to the nations, ready to be love and fall more in love with Jesus. I shouldn't expect anything less.
Of course the enemy is going to distract me. I look back at my two years of being a Christian and I can see the many ways he distracted me from the beginning. But, I have been distracted for too long. I somehow in the midst of the distractions forgot the power of our knees. So, as I fell to my knees on a rooftop in Nepal I decide it's time… It's time to get crazy. Crazy for Jesus. It's time to fight.
I began to pray and cry out to God. Then I switched over and began to rebuke satan. I told him I was no longer playing his game I told him I was done. I began to cry and ask God for a fresh anointing and told him I wanted to be captivated again. I declared that I am fully and completely His. I realize as Christians it's always going to be a fight. I was just sitting back and letting the devil whoop me. I was failing at taking my thoughts captive and obedient to Christ.
After that day, things have not been the same. I felt the freedom from the words I spoke. I encourage you if you are at a place where you want more hunger, a place where you know you are being distracted… Fight. Declare things over yourself. It's powerful.
A few days after I have this sweet moment with God we fly to Kenya. We have our debrief with the entire squad where we have meetings, worship, and say goodbye to our old squad leaders.
God completely showed up. That week our squad went through a lot. We all cried together as one of our team leaders was faced with the reality of being sent home. Many people were at a place of brokenness and confusion. However, we were pushed by our squad leaders to remember why we were here. We were pushed to go to a new place in worship to try something new. I was pushed to try something new.
As our squad leader Garrett played the guitar he tells us he is just going to play and he wants anyone who feels led to start singing. Whatever the Holy Spirit puts on your heart to sing. Our other squad leader Lauren begins to sing. All from the heart. It was beautiful. As I'm getting lost in worship Garrett calls out my name. He says "go ahead Kendall, sing. Come on, Kendall. Sing. Sing." Lauren looks at me and says "come on my crazy spirit woman." All I can think is “Geez, really guys? Your going to put me on the spot like that.” I freeze. Then it bubbles up. I begin singing. I'm free, I'm free, I'm free. I get so consumed by the Spirit I don't even know what I'm singing anymore. So then what do I do? While 45 of us are sitting worshiping. I feel the Holy Spirit telling me to dance.
Knowing I will look like a crazy person, I think of my moment with the Lord on the rooftop in Nepal. So, I make my way to some free space and just start dancing for Jesus. I'm spinning and smiling and just flat out gone. I can't even remember what I did but I can say it was an act of obedience and that obedience to sing and to dance led to a freedom I've never experienced before. Later that night, we all worship together again. Our new squad leader Michelle puts her hand on my shoulder and says Kendall teach us how to dance. We all laugh but, we also dance. Our squad has been taken to a new place in our worship. A safe place. A place where anyone can sing if they want to sing and anyone can dance if they want to dance. All because an act of obedience. Now, I'm not saying I deserve any credit because it's all God! However, I am saying we need to be obedient to what the Spirit is telling us to do and stop caring what people think about us. That's so important and can be so freeing.
I truly believe that night some people sang and danced their way into freedom. Who knows by an act of obedience you may even find you have a gift you never even knew existed. Also, from another perspective be the one like Garrett to push someone. At the time I was frustrated that I was put on the spot but, trust me whoever it is your pushing will thank you in the end. I did.
So, I have now been taken to this new place. This place of fighting for contentment. This place where I feel like this mission has just begun for me. I was asked to read Haggai one day last week. It's a short but powerful read. I think of how it talks about building the house of the Lord. I think of the rebuilding of my house for the Lord and my prayer on the rooftop and how I wanted to be captivated again. While reading Haggai God used these words to speak to me.
“The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house.. And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the Lord Almighty.” Haggai 2:9
I believe it and it has become a declaration! Now, I'll ask you. Does your house need rebuilding?
Many things have changed while only being in Africa a week. During debrief in Nairobi, Kenya I was asked to step up and become the team leader of Team Tambo Tribe. So, with the help of the Holy Spirit I will lead 5 ladies who I've come to love so much through the nations! I don't know how to do this but I do believe this is where the Lord has placed me and for a reason. It's day two and has already pushed me to greater intimacy with Him. Oh how the unknown can do that! Please say a prayer for me and these 5 beautiful women on my team.
Rachel Gust, Olivia Haughey, Staci Weedman, Corinna Gallagher, and Brooke Blackburn
