Okay so Training Camp.
I have gone over and over in my head of how I’m going to blog about this and truthfully there’s no way I can get everything out in one blog unless I wanted to write a short book. So I decided Im gonna hit you with some facts and some lessons learned about training camp first. Then I’m going to go ahead and give you all the feels from the last 10 days.
#1 REGRET: I didn’t bring snacks. Let me just tell you how desperate I was. I legit found an Easter egg in the woods a straight up ate those Sprees like it was the last piece of candy on earth.
#1 LESSON: I have the choice to change. I can make that decision every hour it’s up to me.
Sleeping in my tent was NOT the worst place I slept at training. Cuddling and spooning is a requirement when sleeping on pine needles, in the pouring rain, 58 people deep, in the woods, under one tarp. Yeah wrap your head around that. The most uncomfortable situations make for the most comfortable squads. Georgia has an abundant amount of spiders. Inch worms like my hair. Debrief EVERYTHING. Seriously I debriefed a cupcake. Laughter can get you through almost anything. Porta potties are a luxury. Girl power actually does exist thanks Cheetah Girls. In Africa the men get to sit at a table while the women serve them and sit around them on the floor. Not looking forward to lunch in Africa. Bucket showers are enjoyable at a certain point when you smell like wet dog. Finally I can eat off the floor and I don’t get strange looks.
If you didn’t know my previous route got dropped two weeks ago so I have a whole new set of countries and a whole new squad. Right then I gave up all expectations I had. Literally I mean I had none. I was basically walking into training camp blind to who was on my squad, what happens at training camp, and what’s going on in each country.
All The Feels
1. Frustrated, Anxious, & Annoyed
Session after session and debrief after debrief is what the first few days of training camp looked like. (Well the debriefing part never stopped) Great lessons and great points they were making and the worship was seriously amazing but I still wasn’t getting that feeling of closeness with God if that makes sense. None of the topics where standing out to me. Like man did I just have my ish together or what?! I kept praying for more that I wanted more of Him. Praying that He would show me what He wants from me. I got nothing. This made me frustrated and kind of annoyed. I saw everyone really connecting with Him and the lessons and I’m over here like hey I’ve only been going through a nine moth season of seeking your face (previous blog: Love Jesus End Trafficking- Fear & Faith). HELLO. With this He showed me patients. I actually prayed for patients over someone els and realized He was telling me the same thing to be patient He knows what He’s doing.
“But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” –Romans 8:25
2. Confused, Overwhelmed, Thankful, Scatter Brain, & Scared
Well it didn’t take long until He got to me. Things I struggle with where being revealed to me. Stuff that I haven’t even brought to the surface yet. Anywhere from me being selfish to dealing with comparison. Not only was I comparing myself physically but spiritually as well. So no I didn’t and still don’t have my ish together haha. But who does? I began to hear him in ways Ive never experienced before. I began to see him in ways ive never experienced before. These moments were so intimate with Him I’m not comfortable displaying them on my blog yet. Sometimes I questioned if what I was hearing or seeing were even Him or maybe they were my own thoughts going haywire. It was confusing. Is this what it feels like to actually walk with the Holy Spirit? Basically anything I questioned or doubted was usually followed with affirmation from another person. Legit God would speak to someone who knew nothing about me and they would come say the exact thing I needed to hear. God spoke truth through them. It was overwhelming.
I felt myself changing and it scared me, it honestly scared me. The realization that I was about to leave home hit. I tried to push it aside like all the other times but this time I couldn’t. No one back home would know how I felt the only people who could understand how were the ones who surrounded me at that moment. My squad.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” –Matthew 7:7-8
3. Driven, Bold, Confident, Peaceful, & Hungry
As I tried to process everything the next day (still with WR people in Atlanta) my feelings all came together when hearing a friend’s testimony that night after training camp. Jesus completely spoke to me through her story. I am confident that I am right where God needs me. That I walk with the Holy Spirit. That He is the truth, the word is the truth. That I am loved by Him. That I am falling more and more in love with Jesus. I feel such peace. I know that I wouldn’t have such a hunger for Him and a hunger to be used by Him if I wasn’t meant for something big. I am no longer a slave of fear I AM a child of God.
I feel like this is the first day of the rest of my life.
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.” –Galatians 5:16-17
I randomly started singing “Conversations” by Sara Groves yesterday and realized this is exactly how I feel. I have no better way to explain it. To my friends and family I encourage you to really listen to these song lyrics to get a better picture of how I feel. To my squad and team do the same thing I’m sure many of you can relate.
-Marlo
Training Camp Videos:
My Friend Christina Shore Made this All squad Training Camp video. follow her blog at: http://shelbychristinashore.theworldrace.org
My friend Josh made this R-Squad Training Camp Video. Follow him at: http://joshschmutzer.theworldrace.org
