Are you ready? This question is the theme of my life this month. It is the main topic of conversation from both those who are closest to me, and those I have been fortunate enough to know, if even just for a short while before I leave home (and everything that entails) and enter into this next stage in my life. The majority of my preparations this particular week have been taking care of the physical and circumstantial details of my life, as opposed to the emotional and spiritual aspects, which left me analyzing my current state.
I am physically tired. My body has been fighting off some sort of attack on my immune system for about a week. I do not have a consistent sleep schedule due to my job, and I have been in task mode, in a futile attempt to be as prepared as possible before leaving in just over a week. It physically hurts to use my voice very much right now, which greatly mirrors the challenge I face using my voice and speaking up figuratively when my heart and soul are not healthy, as my body currently is not. My hearing is also impaired temporarily, leaving me feeling as if I am in a bit of a fog, which I can’t help but notice is how I wander through life when I am not trying to listen or pay attention to what God is trying to communicate to me.
I was driving home this evening on the highway in my ’93 Mercury Capri convertible. I had just left fellowship with other believers, including worship and a message, and realized how much I was missing the Lord. This verse about the Lord having our right hand, helping us along popped in my head- Isaiah 41:13. Turned on some music that spoke to my heart and started literally, physically grasping the air with my right hand, desiring that reassurance that God has got my back. It was essentially living out the craving I have in my heart for more of Him, to know that He is still right there beside me. This song with the lyrics, “Won’t You take me away?” came on, and I was belting that out with all I had, straining the voice that I had left, one hand rising above the shelter of my convertible’s windshield to the hot air rushing by. All of this to say, these are the kinds of moments where I experience my Creator.
One of the topics at training camp was discussing the idea of how different people experience God. I for sure, am inclined to “feel His presence” in worship primarily, when I explore nature and take in His creation, and when I am face to face with His people and have all five of my senses engaged. Listening to a sermon or podcast- that’s great. That will help me learn about God and who He is and His Truth. In order for me to actually FEEL like God is there, it’s more powerful if someone has their hand on me, being the hands and feet of Jesus, and are praying over me. Those are the moments that truly impact me. Those are the moments that I have experienced God’s grace and been absolutely flooded with His love and wanted NOTHING more than to spend my life serving Him and worshiping Him.
Why am I going on this “trip around the world”? I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I want to spend my hours, days, night, weeks, months, years praying hard for people, laying on hands calloused from manual labor, yet tender by the warmth of my Saviour’s love in my heart. I want to dance with dirty, beat up feet, tired feet because He is good and that is reason enough to dance. I want to sing with a voice that is cracking from worshipping continually.
I once heard the idea expressed that when people of this world are asking where God is, they are really asking where the people of God are. That thought really struck me- the majority of the time I am so self serving, being far from Christ-like. We are Jesus’ hands and feet and if we don’t step up, if we refuse to be that, we are refusing to allow Him to use us to love on them. I want the Way, Truth, and Life to reach people through me and to surrender my life. THAT is why I am going. So yes, I AM READY. Let’s go.
