Growing up I was blessed to be raised by a mother who loved God very much. As a child I heard her sing songs she wrote just for Him and talked about God at a very personal level. I believe that it is because of her that I knew God so intimately at a young age. I wrote my own first personal song to Him at age 6. It went something like this….
The Lord is my Shepard He watches over me,
He loves me, I love Him
He is the King
He heals people’s hearts and sets His people free
and now that I know Him He lives inside of me
He lives inside of me
Simple ,yet the love I had for my Abba was so great and I carried that with me into middle school and most of high school. Then things got crazy. To put it shortly and simply a lot of difficult things happened in my family and I had a lot of “daddy issues”. When I graduated and it came time to decide who I wanted to be I chose college ,because that is what I thought you were supposed to do. I love knowledge and learning, but I desired to travel and learn from others first. I just didn’t see that as a real option. If I didn’t go to school right away I would lose any of my scholarships. So off I went.
In college I created my own issues by misplacing my passion for new things and adventure into living the “college dream” A lot of parties, work and a little studying here and there, but definitely not enough. I went to college for social work, because as off path as I was I still wanted to help people. I was just to caught up in what everyone was telling me living was. I couldn’t afford to stay in school though ,so I moved from my apartment to living with some housemates and started working full time to save up and go back to school. I wasn’t depressed. I was happy. But my joy was slowly running out. It was all the same.
Work, party ,sleep ,repeat.
Over and over again. I knew there had to be more but no matter the options I looked at none seemed possible. Then one day I was cleaning my room(a miracle in itself lolss) and I fell to my knees on my old wooden floor. I broke down. And there He was. My Old Friend. My God met me and was just with me. I pulled out my bible and read verse after verse and remembered who I was. Who He told me I was. Who I had dreamed I would be when I was a kid. Being a missionary in foreign lands and helping others find hope, and here I was receiving it myself.
I cleaned up and moved back in with my mom and began getting to know my Father’s heart for me again. It was like I started over from where I was before all the crap. The door then opened up for me to do a Discipleship Training School with YWAM(Youth With a Mission) and I spent 3 months learning, growing and living in community in Wisconsin. Then my team and I went to Mexico for 2 months on outreach working in a children’s home, played games in an indian tribe ,gardened and more. I came home much wiser and a lot more confident. I graduated and came home in November. So fast forward a month or two to now.
I work with some teenagers on Sunday nights leading a bible study, play in a band with some friends, and watch Netflix with my mom. I am also preparing to go on two more trips 🙂 I am going with Ambassadors to the Nations to Nicaragua in June and…….wait for it…….The World Race in September!! My life has taken a complete U-turn and I am finally doing what I am passionate about. Best of all I have the greatest shepard of all guiding me.
I know it is a lot of info, but I want you guys to know where I am coming from, and also see what God can do. He has already changed me so much and I know I am only at the beginning of a long and beautiful race. Will you join me?
