Of all the months I’ve been anxious about most due to unknowns it’s returning home. Life will have carried on without me while in some ways it feels like the year 2015 has been on pause. I’ve been stuck in perpetual summer for most of the Race so I can only imagine the shock my body will get when the crisp November air hits me upon landing in Chicago. Lucky for us we will have spent our last month in Ukraine so maybe by then I’ll have adjusted.
Even though I still have a good chunk of time, I’ve already been hit with a barrage of questions that typically fit under 3 categories: 1. Post Race life 2. Biggest lesson(s) 3. Favorite/hardest moments. This blog is primarily for those of you at home I am returning to, or those who know a racer that is coming home soon. No doubt we’ve all been facing similar questions. I hope this helps you understand where I’m at, and how I’ll be adjusting.
1. AVOID GENERAL QUESTIONS
Please, please do not ask such things like “how was it?” Can you summarize your year in 15 minutes? I know I can’t summarize one month on the race in that span of time. I want to share as much as I can, but it helps when you ask for details. I know some countries and ministries may hold more interest to you than others, and I want to answer them. Once I start sharing, other things will come to mind.
2. PROCESSING TIME
I’m actually terrified that I’m getting home the day before Thanksgiving because the next day I will be with my family and that means a lot of questions, stories, and sharing pictures/video. As an introvert, there is nothing more exhausting than being put on the spot before having ample time to process. Thankfully I may have some after making my way through security and customs before I board the plane home. My feelings and emotions take a bit to catch up to what I’m thinking. I am shifting to an environment where everyone speaks the same language, I can understand what is being said on tv, and I can read all the signs. Also, the same people I have done life with day in, and day out are no longer around me. It’ll be the first time I’ve been truly independent in almost a year. I have no idea what that is going to feel like until I say goodbye to my last squadmates. Ideally, I want to take a solid week to be at home with my parents before I see anyone else. I want to drive somewhere alone, I want to see a movie alone, I want to sit in a quiet room alone. Most importantly though, I want to pour out whatever I’m thinking and feeling to God before people. I need to give myself room to process and let him get my heart settled. After that, I’m all yours.
3. CATCHING UP
This kinda goes along with the first point, but I can’t answer everything in passing. I want to share what God has done, I want you to see the change he’s done in me. I also want to see and hear what he’s done in you. Believe it or not, I still find what’s been happening in your life fascinating. I wanna hear about it. Everyone deserves to share their stories, and I’d love nothing more than have an hour or more over coffee. You deserve to hear how your prayers and investments to God for sending me on this crazy escapade have made an impact.
4. I AM DIFFERENT
I made a brief point of this in a previous blog, but I am still Kelsey. Just not the Kelsey you’ll remember. I can tell you off the bat I am going to struggle with words lol. World Race brain is indeed a thing. You’ll get a good laugh out of it because my grammar gets jumbled and I forget some words and phrases entirely. Joking aside, I know I’ve changed, and I know some of you have. It’s a scary, but beautiful thing. I don’t know what you expect I’ll be like, and you may think you don’t have any expectations. We never really believe we do until a moment comes that surprises us. However, if you take me to somewhere like Wal-Mart, or to get dinner, I may cry at the overwhelming prospect of options and free refills. Legit. The very thought of having more than 4 outfits is beyond comprehension.
5. POST RACE “LIFE”
What’s next? That’s a rather imposing question. Chances are high that most of us that came on the race hoped we’d find out some answers somewhere along this journey. In my case I’ve jumped around to several different options the past few months. All good, but I’ve struggled with figuring out the timing. As of right now I feel called to lead another squad when they launch. I have to get approved though. I’m also working with some of my squadmates on starting an online magazine. I plan to take the month of December off through mid January to rest, process, and catch up. After that I’ll have to work somehow because I need to still pay off student loans, begin paying bills, and the usual grown up responsibilities.
I’m a random assortment of emotions when I think about home on occasion, and at times when I’m sitting with my team taking in what’s going on around me the joy and contentment I feel goes so deep I don’t want it to end. When I share stories of my friends I’ve made from this experience I may get choked up a bit. If I get spaced out sometimes just ask me where my mind went and I’ll paint a picture of a beautiful moment that happened on the Race. My heart has been scattered across the globe to numerous people and places I miss. If I could pass on the impressions they made on me to you I would because sometimes words and pictures on my iPhone can’t do it justice.
All that being said, thank you. Thank you for your prayers, words of encouragement, time in reading my blogs or commenting on my photos. Thank you for being there for my family while I’ve been gone. We still have one more country until we touch back down on American soil, and I still have stories to blog before I return. I’m excited to see all of you, hug you, and laugh with you. Catch you on the flip side.
